Things People Do During Quarantine Or Why Can't I Be Like Those People

Hello, world!

Now that we in Jakarta and surrounding areas are in quarantine for three months, I begin to see a pattern on what people do when they are at home through their social media. I understand that social media in only 1 percent of a person's real life, but still it gives some ideas on what to do when we are in quarantine.

1. Baking or cooking

I am amazed to see so many photos of homemade cakes/bread/cooking that emerge on social media during the quarantine period. I mean, I am definitely sure we all have cooked something in the past, we just didn't post those. But now, all kinds of foods are posted. Until now, the most baked goods I've seen are brownies and donuts, most likely because those are easy. I think I will try to make one of those, once I got the ingredients.

2. Reading books

I do this, because I still have a pile of books that I haven't read from BBW 2020. Definitely guilty for 'tsundoku'. But I have also found other people reading books and recommending the titles, just look for hashtag #quarantinereading. All the recommended books seem so tempting, however, I refrain myself to buy more books, at least until I've finished the ones I have at the moment. I simply write down the book titles and have wishful dreaming on the time when I can have my own place with wall-to-wall bookshelves.

3. Making arts

A colleague loves to do coloring, with pencil, crayon or watercolor. Another friend does sketching. Some play musical instruments, and some other just ooze their cool as they belt a song cover. Also, the artists are still making their arts and posting on social media. I am so grateful that Internet has allowed me to follow talented people on social media, at least I know where to find entertainment when I am bored.

4. Sewing or knitting

This is a skill that comes to use in the quarantine period. Need a face mask? Just sew it. Running out of new clothes? Just sew it. My sewing skill is pretty basic, only fastening buttons and darning the socks. But even if we are new to this skill, there are so many YouTube videos to look out for.

5. Gardening

The good thing about gardening as a hobby is it provides your meal, depending on which plant is in harvest period. So far I grow bitter gourd, papaya, spinach and chili. I would love to have more vegetables, but there is a kingdom of thermite underneath my home and they eat whatever they like. I am just surprised they leave out those four vegetables for us. Definitely should try hydroponic, but perhaps will do this a bit later, because...ummm...budget priority.

6. Doing indoor sport

With all gyms being closed right now, indoor sport like yoga has been on the rise. I think the best way to do exercise  at home is by having a smartwatch/smartband that can track how many calories you have burned. Motivation is key, though, so smartwatch or no smartwatch, you can always do exercise in any form. I do plank while I clean the floor beneath my bed, and that is all, folks. So much for motivation, yeah.

7. Tidying up

I see a lot of this activity in the first weeks of quarantine. I am still on the slow pace of tidying up a la Mari Kondo, so I am still sorting my stuffs even as I type this down. Perhaps because I could guess this pandemic would stay for a long time, that is why I try to do this activity slowly. Otherwise, I would not have anything to do, lol.

8. Reposting old travel photos

This is definitely me, lol. I really miss traveling. It's the only consolation for a home-based freelancer. Please don't hate me when I post old travel photos.

Anyway, a journo friend interviewed me for an article, asked me what I do during quarantine and whether I have taken a new hobby in the past few months. I told her that nothing has changed, because I have been working from home since 2018. When I hear people complaining that they feel bored at home, well, I've been through that phase. The difference between now and then is I can't go out easily now.

To tell you the truth, I feel that working at home during the pandemic more exhausting than during the normal days. Therefore, I decided to let go one of my freelance jobs. I know it sounds crazy to let a job slip by you when other people are being laid off. But I need more time to sleep and to do calming activities, such as blogging, lol. I hope I can write more about life and activity during the pandemic, although I really can't promise you that.

I think it is alright if we don't take up any new hobby. I mean, the pandemic itself is a whole new situation that we need to adjust to. There is no obligation to learn something new. Simply surviving is already an achievement at the moment. Now is the moment to have more empathy. You may have the time and opportunity to take up new hobby, other people may only be able to focus on having food on the table. Everyone has their own battle. I am sure we will get through this, just as we have done with things in the past.

So, have you taken any hobby during the quarantine period? 

Travel Wish List (For The 40s)

I went back into the archives of this blogs and found this post. Of all the countries in the list, only China, Japan and Korea were visited and I was quite bummed to see that. However, traveling is not cheap, and I was struggling to balance work and life in my 30s, so I'm happy enough with the results. 

Just for fun, let's make the list again. Here they are in continental and alphabetical order:

Africa

Let's blame it on Disney, but apart from Tanzania (that I have yet to cross out from my previous list), I want to visit Madagascar. Other African countries that I also want to visit are Morocco in the north and South Africa.

Asia

As a Southeast Asian, I want to complete my ASEAN tour. I still have the Philippines, Laos and Myanmar in the list. I have friends in the Philippines and Myanmar, and I really hope I can make it one day.

Apart from Southeast Asia region, I also want to visit Central Asia, aka the -stan countries, Kyrgyzstan, Kazakhstan, Uzbekistan, Tajikistan, Turkmenistan and Afghanistan. There is another -stan country, Pakistan, but I think it falls under the South Asia category. Oh, I still want to visit India, too.

And of course, I want to visit the Gulf region, particularly Mekkah and Madinah for haj. May God grant me this travel wish list in the next few years.

Australia and the Pacific

Australia is not just a continent, it's one country, a very large one. I don't know where to start, but I really want to see Melbourne, which everyone calls as an artsy city.

Instead of Australia, I actually want to visit New Zealand, the country where Middle Earth is located, Lord of The Rings once reigned and Jacinda Ardern rules. 

Europe

It's hard to pick just one country in the Blue Continent. France still ranks first, though, but being a tropical animal, I think I will enjoy the southern Europe countries (Greece, Italy and Spain) more as they have warmer climate.

The Americas

I've been to Peru in South America, so for the next travel in this continent, I want to see the northern regions. If it's the US, I want to visit New York. If it's Canada, I want to visit Justin Trudeau (wait, what?), LOL.

Somewhere in between

The fun side of geography is there will always be parts of the world where a country is located in between the continents. Some of such countries are Turkey and Russia (between Asia and Europe), and Egypt (between Asia and Africa).

All of those are currently just wishful thinkings, but we will never know what the future holds. Let's work hard, save some money and search for cheap tickets, shall we?

The Benefits Of Choosing #LatePost On Social Media

Ten years ago, when I was traveling with my uni friend Aneen, I saw her taking photos on every corner and then posting them on her BlackBerry device. I was still a smartphone-less person at that time, so I took photos with my camera, which I would download later to hard drive and then posted the photos through PC/laptop when I have arrived back in the office.

Now that I'm a smartphone owner, I still retain the habit of #latepost on social media. For many people, I am considered a dinosaur that refused to keep up with the trend. But after trying on several social media, here are the benefits of #latepost that I found:

1.  It's a matter of security. There have been stories of houses being burglarized when people post their holiday photos real-time. Enough said.

2. Rather than updating the feed/wall/status every minute along the trip, I can focus on the five senses. Of course I will take photos, but I will not be busy picking which photo to post, filtering the selected photo and drafting the caption. I will just take photos, and enjoy the moment, the sight, the smell, the sound, the taste and the touch.

3. I can escape from the 'Hey, can you buy me some souvenir while you're there?' question. LOL, this is such a typical question of Indonesians (and most Southeast Asian nations too, I heard). It's not that I don't want to buy souvenir, I just don't have the strength and willpower to lug a heavy suitcase filled with souvenirs.

4. With the gap between the trip and the post, I have more time for the thought process to pick which photo/story to post and which to keep to myself. I think it is better to keep some things about yourself as a mystery. Many people often forget that the digital files can be tracked down by future employers/spouses/in-laws. Digital world is now as dangerous as the real life. Be wise in putting ourselves out there.

5. In relation to number #4 above, I have felt that writing the caption/status on social media is very tricky. Written words have stronger punch than verbal sayings. Sometimes people will misinterpret the words as a show off our accomplishment, when we only meant to share information. With #latepost, I have the time to calm the emotion and spend more time to think about the proper wordings to use. Nevertheless, the caption is still a tricky thing to do.

6. Being the introvert that I am, the #latepost setting really helps when I want to explore the area on my own. I can see things that I like about a shop/anything really in my neighborhood, take a picture and share it later on WhatsApp status. And I don't need to worry about anyone suddenly sliding into my DM and saying:"Hey, I know this place. I'm in the area, let's meet." I am sorry if this sounds strange for extroverts, but this is just how I roll.

7. The #latepost will bring back the good memories about the trip amidst the hectic work schedule. It's like extending your holiday, a kind of escapism or a trip down memory lane, whichever the reason is a #latepost can always put smiles back into my face.

Do you feel any benefit from #latepost setting?

[Movie] Marriage Story - A Movie Review With Some Thoughts On Marriage

From here

Disclaimer: spoilers ahead.

I read rave reviews on how good 'Marriage Story' is, so I decided to spend 137 minutes to watch the movie that is directed by Noah Baumbach. It is a movie that makes you question life and of course, marriage, as the title implies, in which it could be the reason it gained many award nominations. 

The movie opens with the voice of Charlie (Adam Driver) and Nicole (Scarlett Johansson) reading their notes on what they like about their spouse, elaborating on each other good traits and showing their beautiful life in New York as theatre director husband and actress wife. However, the scene slowly turns to sour as the camera shows both Charlie and Nicole sitting awkwardly, away from each other, in the marriage counselor room. The counselor kindly asks them to read the notes out loud, but Nicole refuses and leaves the room.

The next few minutes have yet to give any clue on the problems faced by the couple. People think they are the perfect power couple, as Charlie directs plays and Nicole stars in his plays. The couple, who has been married for around 10 years (I assume, because their son Henry is about eight years old), decide to split amicably, without involving any lawyers.

As Nicole wants to return to LA for a few months to work on a TV series, she brings Henry along with her. During her stay in LA, she consults with Nora, a lawyer played by Laura Dern, who suggests that Nicole files for divorce.

And then things get nasty.

Nicole feels that during her marriage, Charlie never considers her requests to try living in LA, where her mother Sandra (Julie Hagerty) and sister Cassie (Merrit Wever) live. She says that Charlie once had an opportunity to get artist residentship for one year in LA, but instead he took a six-month project in Denmark (or some Scandinavian country). She also thinks Charlie slept with the theatre manager, which was later proved to be true.

When Charlie comes to visit Henry, he tells Nicole that he wins MacArthur fellowship grant. Nicole congratulates him, and Charlie says in passing that he will not be able to do it without her. For a second, it feels like Nicole is considering to cancel the lawyer thing. But then Charlie is busy searching for something in the kitchen, and Nicole makes up her mind.

Cassie enters the kitchen, to give Charlie the divorce paper and is told to find a lawyer. Charlie meets with Jay (Ray Liotta), who told him to go dirty. Jay says that since the marriage was done in LA and Henry was born in LA, there is a big chance that Nicole wins the case if it is held in LA courts. Jay suggests Charlie to file the case in New York. Charlie refuses and returns to New York without hiring any lawyer, only to receive a phonecall from Nora who reminds him to get a lawyer or face the risk of losing custody over Henry.

Charlie hires Bert, a lawyer with conciliatory approach. During a meeting between the parties, Nora shows Charlie and Bert that Nicole has better chance of getting the custody. Bert later advises Charlie to drop his residency in New York, which makes Charlie furious and fire him. Charlie finally hires Jay, and the court room scenes become the battle ground between the two lawyers.

The movie could be a personal project for director Noah Baumbach, who was divorced from actress Jessica Lange, and Scarlett Johansson, who was divorced from journalist and art consultant Romain Dauriac. However, Adam Driver also delivers great acting as a cold and inexpressive theatre director. In many points along 'Marriage Story', I can't help thinking that this marriage can still be saved and that there is still hope for the couple.

The problem in Charlie and Nicole's marriage is, similar to other marriages (methinks), the lack of communications between the couple. Nicole, who left her career in LA to be with Charlie, feels that her efforts are under-appreciated. As Charlie (and his theatre group) takes the spotlight, Nicole begins to question whether she can do better and whether there are other career choices out there. She starts to avoid Charlie at home, and Charlie seeks comfort from other people (bad choice, Charlie).

Since marriage consists of two people, we can't just blame Nicole or Charlie for the divorce. But on second thought, the divorce may not be a bad thing for them as they become on friendly terms after the decision comes out. All in all, I think this movie is good for both married couples and singles, as it gives us the harsh reality that it is hard to live and share your life with another human.

The 40 Things I Know For Sure

Oprah Winfrey has a column titled 'What I Know For Sure' in her monthly magazine elaborating on one topic she knows for sure. Some of the topics included Let Passion Drive Your Profession, Every Day Is A Chance to Start Over, and What You Put Out Comes Back All The Time, No Matter What. I don't intend to turn this blogs into a deep-thought, meditational space, but just for fun and to celebrate my 40th birthday, here are 40 things I know for sure in the 40 years of my life. I wish I knew these in my 20s.

The Ultimate Knowledge

This one is a bonus in advance. The one thing I know for sure is that I don't know anything is for sure. Everything I write below is just based on my experience. But you can create your own experience. Don't take everything here for sure.

On skills one must have

1. Reading skill is, in my opinion, a must-have. I'm not just talking about spelling out ABC or reading a map. We should be able to read between the lines, opportunities, our strength and weakness, people's intention, signs from the nature, and (ok, this sounds so grandiose) the spirit of an era. I'm still learning to read, though.

2. Writing or story-telling is the next skill one can benefit so much. This is an accompaniment to the first point :).

3. Being bilingual (or more) gives you an advantage in life. You do not have to master a foreign language, the ability to understand a local language provides the same power. This comes from a Java born-and-bred girl who is often thought to be an East Nusa Tenggara girl (and got discounted items for speaking in their accent).

4. Regardless of the gender, everyone should know how to do domestic chores, such as cooking, washing and sewing (even if it is only to keep a button on). Those are life skills and will help you survive.

5. Other skills, such as mathematics and computing, can be learned. I know this for sure.

On working hard to get the skills

6. I don't believe in gift/talent. I think everyone should work hard to get the skills I mentioned above. If you can learn the skills quicker than other people, then it must be Allah's will.

7. Find mentors/role models/friends/communities who can support/teach/share tips with you on the skills. Learn the skills from another human. Don't just read from books, because humans are the most complete living books you will ever read.

8. The problems that hamper you in the learning process could mean that you may need to learn the skills in a different way. Unlearn the old way, and then learn again in your own way.

9. When you think that you spend your time for no progress during the learning process, you are just being tired, take a break. But never give up.

10. The learning process will never betray the result.

On the most important things to have at hand

11. National ID, Passport and Driving License will take you places one day. Be sure to have them with you at all times.

12. Instead of collecting items, try collecting experiences/skills.

13. Quality items, not necessarily high-brand items. Taking your stuffs regularly to repair shop due to its low quality is a waste of time. 

14. Over the years, you will realize that you do not need that many stuffs in life. You should only keep what you need, and that includes feelings (ouch!).

15. Regardless of the prices, the sizes and the meanings, always take good care of your stuffs, especially the gadgets you use for work. Be it a laptop or a pencil.

On taking care of your health

16. I think our overall health is mostly determined by oral hygiene, because the immune system is produced in our digestive system and mouth as the entrance plays important role. Brush your teeth, floss, use mouthwash, and go to dentist once every six month.

17. Your five senses (sight, sound, smell, skin, taste) are God's gifts. Be sure to take care of them and be grateful for them.  

18.  I think everyone has a super power that allows them to be healthy. You should find yours. Mine is being able to sleep anytime, anywhere.

19. Regular fasting for detox, have enough rest, and drink enough water. Insya Allah, you will be alright.

20. Most illnesses come from mind or heart, so just throw away those negative thoughts/worries. It's never easy, but so worth it.

On life, in general

21. It is never too late to dream, start a business or get in a relationship. 

22. Every person has their own journey and their own timeline in this world, so no need to compare your life with other's. 

23. Regardless of the picture-perfect life people post in social media, everyone is struggling.

24. Have faith.

25. Your heart, the inner voice that guides you within, is always right. Never ignore it.

26. Good thoughts will show on the outside.

27. Being kind to everyone, even those who hate you, actually benefit yourself. Also, you don't lose anything with just being kind.

28. Everyone has different ability, take them as they are. Don't put such great expectation on humans, including parents, spouse and children. You should always place the expectation to God.

29. To follow up the previous point, humans have been in evolution since zillions of decades and will never stop to develop. So don't lose hope.

30. Always take a few deep breaths before responding to something.

On friendship and relationship

31. Friendship is just like other relationship. Sometimes it is unrequited, sometimes it has to end.

32. All relationships need hard work to make them successful.

33. People will always remember how you make them feel.

34. Your time in this world is worth too much to be spent with someone who does not appreciate your existence.

35. Allah created you as a whole and complete sentient being. Don't let other people saying otherwise, just because you're still single at the moment.

36. The bad things that happened to you actually saved you from something else. Always be grateful, even for the bad things.

37. The best gift you can give to another being and yourself is good prayers. Keep your loved ones and your enemies in your prayer, because it will come back to you.

38. Give the young ones the opportunity to talk and make their own decision. Let them learn from the experience.

39. The best relationship you will ever have is the one with Your Creator.

40. The best friend you will ever have is yourself. Love yourself.

On Placing Your Hopes And Expectations To God

Last year I saw a YouTube video on an ustadz (male clerics) giving a sermon on the importance of marriage. The ustadz cited a hadith saying The Prophet said married people were already achieving half of the religion. From that hadith, the ustadz deduced that the unmarried people had yet to reach anything worthy for the journey to afterlife.

I remembered feeling helpless after hearing the sermon. As a single Muslim in my late 30s (this year is the last year of my 30s), I believe that Allah would not let anyone feeling left behind and that Islam embraces people from all walks of life. So I looked up Al Quran to find solace.

What I found in Al Quran were verses on marriage, to be kind to spouse (how husband should treat their wife and vice versa), to be kind to those who have less, and other advises on being kind to other humans. Reading the verses on marriage resulted in even more helpless feeling, because they emphasized the aforementioned hadith.

As I turned the 30th juz, I stumbled upon Q.S Al Zalzalah (The Earthquake). The 99th surah in Al Quran consists of 8 verses and the last two verses say: "Whoever does an atom's weight of good will see it. Whoever does an atom's weight of evil will see it."

It reminded me of a hadith as told by Abu Hurairah ra about the poor people who asked The Prophet that the rich could do sholat and fasting, just like the poor do. But the rich can give alms, free slaves and donate their wealth for good deeds, while the poor can not do that. At the end of the hadith, Rasulullah SAW said that Allah gave blessing to whoever He wanted to give.

And then another verse of Al Quran jumped out before my eyes: "And to your Lord only should you direct your longing." (Q.S. Al Insyirah-94: 8).

I still needed some validation on the hadith mentioned on the first paragraph of this post, so I asked another cleric, who I knew well that he would pick his words carefully. He said that marriage was indeed already half of the religion (insert sad sigh here). However, he added, those who were married still had to pursue the other half, which is taqwa. He reminded that people should always place their hopes and expectations to God, and not being complacent with the good deeds they have done or achieved.

Those kind words reminded me of another surah, Q.S. Al Ashr, which is my namesake actually. The last two verses say: '"Indeed, mankind is at loss. Except for those who have believed and done righteous deeds and advised each other to truth and advised each other to patience."

Please note that I am not a scholar on Islamic studies. I am just a Muslim who wants to learn more about my own faith. I know that my understanding on Al Quran is not as much as the people who dedicate their life to learn Islam. Feel free to give comments and suggestion. 

May we be able to reach our full potential in this year's Ramadan. Ramadan Mubarak!

What Are Your Deal Breakers?

Chemistry in a relationship is so difficult to pin down. Sometimes you just know that you can get along with a certain person  in the first few seconds, sometimes it takes more time to figure out. The hard reality is when one party does not share the same sentiments as the other. There are many reasons for a deal breaker, but communications is the main issue.

Here are some of the deal breaker situations that I gather from friends and colleagues (Disclaimer : I omit the names to protect the innocents):

"I went out with this guy, and he introduced me to his family. During the meeting, his mother bombarded me with questions on my lineage, who was my great grandfathers and so on. I come from a very ordinary family, while he has relation with some keraton (old Yogyakarta courts) family. I just had to call it off."

"When my former boyfriend and I discuss the wedding plan, he told me that he would take no-collateral loan of Rp 100 million for the wedding reception. I was so appalled by the idea of taking a loan just for a one-day party. If it were for buying our house, I would have agreed. I think we have different ideas on budget and finances. I decided to say no."

"A cleric introduced me to this guy, and we communicated via Whatsapp. But I noticed that his responses were always short and did not open further conversation. I guess he was just not that into me, so we just stopped contacting each other."

"A guy had proposed me, but then his colleague asked me if my father died because the guy took a leave from work to 'attend the funeral of his girlfriend's father'. It turned out that his former girlfriend's father died and the girl asked him to come to her house, which is located in...Lampung! I confronted him with the news, and he did not apologize. I just had to break with him."

"I have been introduced to some guys, but the guys seemed to lack in manners. One example was when we went out to an eatery, he ate a dish and could not finish it. He told the waiter to pack it for takeaway and handed it to me, saying that it was for my mom. I didn't say anything to my mom."

"A guy came when I was in my 20s. But if I said yes, I would have to leave this country and family. Also, I was not ready, so I declined. Do I regret it? I think we were just not meant to be."

"The first matchmaking offer was with a guy who kept asking the same question throughout the day:'what are you doing at the moment?' (Indonesian version:'lagi apa?'). If I replied to that question, he would ask the same question again a few minutes later. At that moment, my job took most of my work time and I could not reply real-time. So I told the guy:'could you ask another question that does not have timeframe? Because I could not answer quickly'. I mean, he could ask about what kind of books I like to read, etc, you know, the kind of questions that lead to more questions and conversation. However, he thought I called it off and reported to his mother that I was not available. It was a simple question, but he misinterpreted it."

"One day, my cousin told me he had a single friend, who was serious to get married. So we were introduced via telephone, and started texting each other. The initial conversation was a boring one, such as where do you work, etc. I decided to ask a question I considered innocent: 'are you smoking?' The guy seemed offended with that question and never replied again. I just knew that my future husband and I should be able to discuss any topics, however controversial it might seem."

"There was this guy who was a son of my father's friend, the fathers thought we would get along well. So they introduced us and we tried getting to know each other via Whatsapp. But on a particular Sunday, in which the guy had promised to come to my house, he did not come or send me any message at all. I finally texted him at 7 p.m. asking if he had called the visit off. His response was,'Oh I'd love to come to your house, but I was in Permata Hijau area'. My house is on the other side of the city, around 1.5-2 hours driving. I would have called my friends if I would come late. I thought he was either not into me or simply a jerk who could not respect other people's time."

What are the deal breakers for you? 

On The Struggles To Build Confidence

Last year, a colleague suddenly gave me a call to discuss about her desire to find another job. She wanted to find another career path but she was unsure what she could do outside of her current job. Being the organized person when it comes to strategies and life hacks, I told her that I made a SWOT table before deciding to deviate from my previous career path. 

"I can't even figure out my Strengths. I can only see my Weaknesses. I'm not as confident as you," she said.

Want to hear a secret? Ever since I was a child, I have this low confidence level. I am the only child, so I don't get compared to my sibling. Instead, I get compared with my cousins. Most (if not all) of my cousins are on the extrovert spectrum and considered a success in my parents' standards. They look prettier, they have more friends, they have permanent jobs, and they married young.

I am still developing my confidence muscle, it's a daily workout. But I am definitely more confident nowadays then in my younger years. Looking back, I could say that confidence requires a lot of hardwork. Here, let me break down the stages and hopefully I don't bore you with the details.

I was so quiet and hated public attention in my elementary school years, that M suggested I took Balinese dancing course. The dancing club performed in Taman Mini once a year. I was not an outstanding dancer, but I learned that I could dance in public, after months of practice that is. It has planted a seed of confidence.

When I was 12 years old, I got bad scores and did not the national test for elementary students. As a result, I had to enroll in a private junior high school, not the state school. In Jakarta during the 1990s, if you enrolled in private schools, there were two possibilities: (1) you're rich, or (2) you're stupid and couldn't pass the national test.

It was during my first year in junior high school that I learned English for the first time. I had a bad result in my first English exam. Then my parents found an English course opening near my home and enrolled me there. I learned so hard that my test scores leveled up, my teacher noticed my improvement and gave me enough encouragement. Thanks to this, I braved myself to participate in an English competition held by the English course. It was a small competition, I won second prize. What I congratulated myself at that time was my decision to take part in the competition in the first place. I learned that a little encouragement could go a long way, so I've been trying to give lots of encouragement, instead of harsh critics.

In high school, I learned more about English grammars and had been dreaming to take English (or any other foreign language) as a major in university. But my parents insisted that I took Engineering. I was devastated. I consulted several teachers on this issue, and some suggested I took Architecture, whose syllabus has elements of art and history (which I liked and was good at in high school). Once I set up the target, I also set up strategies to achieve it. I studied day and night, took several tryout tests to see the possible test results (those had been ugly), and dived back to the textbooks again. Alhamdulillah, I passed the test with enough score to enroll as an Architecture student.

During the university years, I taught myself to do freehand sketching because it is a requirement as an Architecture student. I looked at how my friends did it, pored over the sketches in textbooks, even tried copying them. I would never be as good as my gifted friends, but at least it was enough to gain the degree. Now I knew my hands could sketch, with years of practice.

After I graduated, I applied to various offices, either architect bureaus or other sectors. But I didn't land any job for one year. It was really a low point of confidence, when you saw all friends and cousins getting a job. A silver lining from this year was that I came to so many work interviews and learned to be presentable. I would wore the suit that made me comfortable and confident, prepared the answers (I even practiced in front of a mirror) and came to the place earlier. I landed a job as a journalist, and that opened a whole new chapter in my confidence building journey.

The first person I interviewed was the Foreign Affairs Ministry's spokesperson at that time, Marty Natalegawa, who later became the Indonesian Ambassador for UK and Ireland and then the Foreign Affairs Minister. He was leaving the conference room quickly and I had to sprint a bit to approach him, politely introduced myself, gave him my name card and asked for an in-depth interview. His face beamed up when he read my card. He asked his secretary to set up interview time in the next few days.

It was during the interview that Pak Marty told me that he used to work as a proofreader at my workplace. I was so lucky that I got him as my first assignment, because his kindness helped building my confidence. But seriously, if I didn't run after him, I wouldn't know that he (and many other news sources) could be approached as long as we clearly and politely stated our questions.

Since then, I met many political leaders, decision makers and celebrities, people whom I could only see on the TV screen. But the most important was I met so many people that I started to forget about my clumsiness, focus on them and the task at hand. Confidence building in this phase was more about how I got the job done and then doing it all again on repeat the next day. It's more like survival tips.

After almost a decade in journalism, I decided to change my career. I was confused on what I could do outside of journalism. As I said in the beginning of this post, I made a SWOT table to see where my strengths and weaknesses were, and this is something anyone can do by updating the curriculum vitae (CV). Just put in everything you have done in the CV: education background, work experience, community organization/volunteer works, and you would see a pattern repeating.  For example, you have been in charge for a certain role or topic. That should be your strengths. Own them up, and show them with a style.

For people who have worked in one workplace for years, building the confidence to jump ship may look as a daunting prospect. Start with small steps, such as send one application a month, then two applications in the next month, and so on. Once you receive invitations to work interview, the confidence level would rise up.

Another factor that can improve confidence is dressing up for the occasion. I don't have many outfits, but I have the basic ones for job interview, to meet important officials/clients, and to attend events/parties. Besides wearing the right outfit, a perfect lipstick could help boost confidence.

I am also blessed with friends who always encourage me to take the opportunities and support me with all information on any job opening. Sometimes you need other people to show what you're good at.

To sum this post up, confidence is not something we are always born with. We have to develop the confidence muscle within us by practice, by lots of time spent on studying, by trying and failing, by taking the small steps and the quantum leaps, and by praying to the Almighty.

To everyone who is building their confidence, my tips would be to remember the target you want to achieve and start from there. May God grant us the confidence we need. Good luck to us all.

P.S. A wonderful tips on confidence by Mindy Kaling

Which Position Suits You Best According To MBTI Personality Types?

Source

You can read details on each personality type here. Which one is yours?

P.S. I posted a similar post a few years ago.

Tattooed Indonesian Men Appreciation Post

There is a significantly rising number of tattooed Indonesian men on screen, either on TV or the big screen. So I thought I'd do a compilation of them, just for fun. 

Rio Dewanto. Source: DAMAN

Rio Dewanto

Actor Rio Dewanto had been working in television films for years and gained public recognition after he starred in Joko Anwar's The Forbidden Door in 2009. He worked again with Joko Anwar in Modus Anomali in 2011. He dated actress Atiqah Hasiholan, who is five years his senior, before tying the knot in 2013. I think, any man who dates and marries older woman deserves an honorable mention because the common norm that applies here is men usually marry younger women.

Chef Juna Rorimpandey. Source.

Juna Rorimpandey
The heavily tattooed chef rose to prominence after becoming one of the panel for cooking competition TV show MasterChef (2011-2012) and Hell's Kitchen Indonesia (2015-2016).

Marshall Sastra. Source: DAMAN (left) and Instarix (right)

Marshall Sastra

Marshall Sastra studied interior design in college and worked as a model, but he sort of caught public eye after becoming TV host for travel show My Trip My Adventure. He married model Dominique A. Diyose in 2014, but they separated one year later.

P.S. My previous appreciation post on Indonesian men is here, if you'd like to see.

Fallen Trees, New Opportunities

A day before New Year saw heavy downpour with strong wind. A melinjo tree in my front yard fell down due to the wind, then a sour-sop tree in my backyard also fell down. The melinjo tree was actually a gift from nature. We never planted it, it just came out the earth, possibly dropped there by nocturnal animals.

The melinjo tree broke the lamp, and at first we thought it severed the telephone cable as well, but it didn't. We waited until the rain stopped and started to cut the small branches to ease us in pulling the bough to the front yard.

It's a good thing that we had a collection of sharp things. They really did a good job. My good neighbors came scurrying to help me, either they felt sorry to see a girl doing the hard work or chivalry is not dead. They did not have any tools, though. And when I asked them which tool they would like to use, they did a double take.

From this, I can deduce that one thing for sure, every girl should have a good collection of sharp things. And it should include brain.

Back to the fallen tree, I lent them machete and saw. Within 30 minutes, we managed to clean my the front yard. A neighbor asked if she could take some melinjo leaves, then she told us that the flowers could also be used. In a city where people are usually busy with their business, having a quick chat over melinjo bough is quite entertaining.

The next day, I found that the sour-sop tree in the back yard also fell. I remembered a friend had mentioned that she needed sour-sop leaves to cure her husband's leukemia. So I picked the leaves and asked her if she still needed some. She said yes, and I gave the leaves when we met a few days later for our annual lunch ritual.

I also asked the organic vegetable agents if they needed any. One agent responded and came to my house a few days later to pick up the leaves. She told me to take care of the sour-sop tree because many people needed the leaves, and I could sell the leaves through the agents.

I have always thought that a fallen tree meant the end of a life. It's funny how two fallen trees have opened spaces for conversations. But I guess life works in a funny way. I should learn to listen more to any opportunities in any situations.

Finding Yourself During A Loss

In the zen zone. A throwback photo of me in Seoul, South Korea, in 2010

A few weeks ago, a friend sent me messages about his bag being stolen while he fell asleep on board the commuter line. Inside the bag were wallet, mobilephone, and most devastating of all, his 15" MacBookPro laptop that he just bought January this year. He blamed himself for falling asleep in the train while leaving his bag unattended on the overhead shelf.

I could only say,"Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi rojiun." To Allah everything belongs, and to Allah everything shall return. I told him to let it go and start anew again.

A few months prior, I have lost many personal photo files in my portable hard disk. I have uploaded some of the photos to this blogs and other social media, but the rest were totally gone. I grieved the loss of life mementos for a few days, then I pushed myself to see things in bigger frame.

Material things such as the mobilephone and the laptop, we can always replace them with the new ones. One may argue that the contact numbers in the mobilephone and the files in the laptop are difficult to regain. But hey, in this global era, we can find a way to connect to the people and we can always recreate the files that were started as tiny abstract ideas in our grey cells. In the case of lost photos, make new ones. Nothing is impossible, as long as we are alive and doing well.

What if you lose a person that means the world to you, such as parents, siblings, spouses? What if you lose your eyesight or a body part?

The second paragraph will still be relevant. After all, we don't really own anything. Our bodies, our parents, our worldly things, and even our souls, we borrow them all from The Almighty. We only have time, such a short time for some people, to prepare our journey for the eternal hereafter. We don't even know how much time we would have.

Just like humans are only visitors on this planet, feelings are also visitors in our hearts, they come and go. Don't stick around too long with a particular emotion. Remember that this too shall pass.

Being grateful helps reduce the sorrow of losing. When losing someone dear, we should be grateful that we have met/have the opportunity to get to know that person. When losing one of the five senses, we can be grateful that at least we are still alive. There is always a lesson we can take from a loss, hence not everything is lost.

Also, if we have accepted that we don't own anything, then the life journey would be a lot easier.

Sorry if today's post is loaded with deep philosophical thoughts. I have a lot of things going inside my head and my heart lately. Writing some of them down in this space helps reducing the noise and hopefully will strengthen me during the time of loss in the future.

What would you tell yourself when you experience a loss? 

On Aging According To Our Age

Aging is  both terrifying and exciting, isn't it? There is an unspoken rule that one should be wiser as they turn older, but it is not always the case. Everyone grows in their own pace. There is no guide book on becoming wise. On the other hand, aging will take place in real time.

As the signs of aging is upon us -- wrinkle, sun spots, grey hairs, and discolored skin tone -- many would focus on the outer appearance, which is also important to take care by the way, but mostly forget to take care the inner self. What would our soul need as it gets older? And while kids look forward to be adult, why do people afraid to be old?

I will be 38 years old in one month and still have two more years before I reach the ripe age of 40, so I intend to gather as much information on that particular age. In Islam, the age of 40 gets a special mention in Al Qur'an, on Al Ahqaf, verse 15 to be precise.

The verse says;"We instructed the human being to treat his parents kindly. His mother bore him laboriously and gave birth to him laboriously. Carrying him and weaning him takes thirty months. Then, when he reaches maturity and reaches the age of forty he says,"My Lord, enable me to give thanks for Your blessings which You have bestowed upon me and upon my parents, and to do the good deeds that please You, and grant me righteous descendants. I have repented to you and I am one of the Muslims." 

From the verse, I can conclude four things that we should do upon reaching 40 years old:
(1) Be grateful for every blessing that Allah have bestowed upon us
(2) Do good deeds that please Allah
(3) Have descendants, if Allah wills it
(4) Repent for all the wrongs we have done in the past years

With my birthday to come in about a month, I have been giving some time contemplating on life. You may as well prepare yourself to read more philosophical posts in this space in the next month.

Do you have any advice on how to become a wise and graceful 40-year-old? Please share :).

Courtesy During The Technology-supported Communication

Mobilephone has eased both verbal and written communications with other people. But it seems that in this era of modern technology, many people has forgotten the courtesy and often make mistakes in the field of communication.

Here are most recurring phone/Whatsapp conversations happening to me on any regular day. These could be annoying, but I found them quite funny and entertaining due to the exact similar communication patterns.

Wrong Name

Situation: Even though I have left the journalism world more than four years ago, my email inbox is  still receiving invitations for press events. Some even reach out through my mobilephone, but they got my name wrong...

#1 Misspelled Name

PR person of a company/brand: Hello, Mbak Tofa. This is so-and-so from so-and-so company. We'd like to invite you to...

Me: (cutting him/her quickly) My name is not Tofa. You must be dialing/contacting the wrong number.

PR: Oh, I'm so sorry.

I know it's just one letter wrong, but everyone should check and recheck names before placing a phonecall/text message.

#2 Totally Different Name

PR person of a company/brand: Hello, Mbak Aulia. This is so-and-so from so-and-so company. We'd like to invite you to...
Me: (cutting him/her quickly) I'm not Aulia. Sorry, wrong number.
PR: Oh, I am sorry for this mistake. But you're working for TJaP, right? (Note from the editor: please note that the PR didn't ask my name)
Me: I resigned in 2013.
PR: Can you share with us the name of your replacement? (Note from the editor: Why would I give it to someone who does not even care to ask my name?)
Me: I'm sorry, I don't know. I've heard that the person has resigned too. You can call the office, if you like.
PR: Are you still working in a media company, Mbak? (Note from the editor: Even if I am still working in the media, I don't think I'd like to come to an event that is handled by people who still haven't asked my name)
Me: No, I'm now working in a non profit sector.
PR: Ok, thank you, Mbak.

Guess what? The very same PR person has messaged me again several times after that, starting the conversation with the very same opening line and wrong name. I am seriously questioning the quality of the company now. Who the hell is Aulia and why is that name put under my mobilephone number?

Wrong Time To Call
Situation: I totally understand that some professions require them to phone other people. But there are also people who need concentration during work, and a phonecall is just the ingredient to ruin it.
Telemarketer: Hello, Ibu. We're from Bank ABC and we'd like to inform you on our latest...
Me: I'm sorry, I'm still at work. Can you call again at 12 pm, during lunch time?
Telemarketer: Oh, alright.
And then at 2 pm, my phone rang...
Telemarketer: Hello, Ibu. We're from Bank ABC...
Me: (cutting him/her quickly) I told you to call at 12 pm, right?
Telemarketer: Errr yes, I could not call you at that moment.
Me: Then I could not receive this phone call, I'm already back at work.

Wrong Attitude
Situation: When a person is being pushy, you just know that you should end the conversation then and there.
Telemarketer: Hello, Ibu. We're from Bank ABC and we'd like to inform you on our non-collateral loans.
Me: I'm sorry, but I'm not interested.
Telemarketer: How do you know that you don't need it? I haven't even explained it (in an angry tone)
Me: I just knew it. Ok, thanks for calling, good bye.

What are your pet peeves in daily communication's mishaps?

[Movie] Pengabdi Setan (Satan's Slave)

Indonesia | 2017 | Director: Joko Anwar | 1 hour 47 minutes

From here

[There are spoilers.]

This was the first horror movie that I watched. I watched it with Dic, a colleague at former workplace, because he promised me that he would drive me home after the movie. Seriously, watching this movie is a milestone for a scaredy cat like me.

This is the first Joko Anwar's movie that I watched in a cinema. I usually watch Indonesian movies when they are aired on local television. I am not a fan of Indonesian movies, because most (if not all) Indonesian movies have no good story plots and/or no good acting.

The movie was a remake of a 1980 movie that Rolling Stone magazine called as the scariest Indonesian movie of all time. I didn't watch that movie though, but a friend gave me a short summary, in which the movie's main message was: "If you face hard times, always turn to God. Don't go looking for solace in other place, or scary things will happen to you."

Joko's movie is different from that, it's more of an adaptation, instead of a remake. Set in the 1980s, the movie starts with Rini (Tara Basro) asking for royalty to the recording company that recorded and produced her mother's solo album. Mother has been ill for three years, and the medical expenses have taken its toll on the family. The company's director, Joko Anwar doing cameo (aha!), apologizes for being unable to help. 

Rini, who is the eldest of four, returns home and tells his father (Bront Palarae) that they don't have enough. When the night falls, Tony (Endy Arfian), the second child in the family, comes home and gives the key of the motorcycles to his father. The motorcycles has to be sold to cover medical expenses. The other siblings, Bondi (Nasar Annuz) and Ian (M. Adhiyat), who can not speak, give excellent acting performance despite their young age.

The scariest parts are the first 45 minutes when the mother (Ayu Utami) is still around. The bell she uses to call her children and the music score that plays when she makes the scene are enough to build  up the horror atmosphere. 

Some horror scenes worth mentioning: (1) when Rini dreams seeing mother stand in front of the window, then she wakes up and reliving the dream, (2) when Bondi and Ian go to bathroom and throw a piece of fabric over the mother's picture, (3) when Rini does prayer and yet, mother can still crawl under her praying outfit. I was very grateful that I didn't watch this movie alone as I could hold onto Dic's shirt sleeve during the scary scenes, and he didn't even flinch.    

In the end, I'm not exactly sure what to think of this movie, but I think I'm a bit confused. I don't watch a lot of horror movies. However, I do know that all horror movies portray ghosts as the spirits that scare human, never kill. Usually the humans will get scared and do reckless things that cause their death, but they die because of their own mistake. In this movie, the ghosts kill humans. And for me, that throws the scare factor out of the window.

It seems that Joko Anwar tries to put in as much fear factors as he can into the movie, including zombies and a satan's worshiper group. Upon seeing the zombie, I was like, huh? As an Indonesian, I have heard about Indonesian ghosts: sundelbolong, kuntilanak, you name it. But zombies only exist in a Western movie.

Other factor that puts off the horror vibe is the responses of the audience. Hearing other people screaming in the cinema opened my eyes, hey, there is nothing to scream/scare about. It's just a movie. A movie that is the first of a trilogy.

"So, are we going to watch the sequels?" Dic asked when he saw my confused expression during the credit roll.

"Hell, no!" I said.

Here's another review on this movie. Joko Anwar does a good marketing work on this movie. So far it has been watched by at least 3 million viewers in Indonesia, which is a lot for a horror movie. The last news I heard about this movie is that it will be screened abroad.

Have you watched it? What do you think? And if you haven't watched it, would you go after reading this post?

Ten Things On What, When, How And Why I Talk (In Real Life Or Chat Engines)

I had to do a presentation in front of 300 colleagues nationwide. My facial expression says it all: uncomfortable :P

A schoolmate from primary school era reached out to me, after I joined the Whatsapp group, asking me why I never commented in the group. My first thought was,"I had to respond to every post in the WA group? Is that obligatory?" 

The said friend noticed that I had always been a quiet girl since primary school and he never knew how to get me talking. The problem was he tried to engage me talking in a big group, while I am more comfortable talking in small group. Big groups tire me out. There is a word for me: introvert.

I still don't talk much, but I know at least 10 things that could get myself talking, no alcohol included. Here they are without further ado:

1. I enjoy deep, thought-provoking discussion on any topic. I also enjoy small talk, as long as it's genuine and well-meant.

2. I don't talk to people in the first place unless I feel comfortable with the person/the group/the topic

3. Despite my work-loaded schedule, I would respond to people who has confidence and purpose. 

People who ask,"Am I interrupting your work?" as their opening line would likely receive a flat,"Yes, a bit" answer from me. If you have been out of contact and then suddenly contact me during office hour, of course I would be busy, everyone would be busy, so why did you ask? If you contact me, prepare your questions and figure out your purpose, because I don't really enjoy small talk (OMG, I sound like a nasty news source, but this is actually an emphasis to number #1).

4. Being a busy person myself, I would not talk to you if I know you're busy

5. Nevertheless, sometimes I go out of my way and still talk to a busy person, if I really care about that person

You know who you are :).

6. I prefer writing to talking

I guess it is obvious, I wouldn't keep this blogs if I like it the other way around. Also, I think it is the reason why I don't talk much.

Tangent: If anyone decide to write me a letter, for the love of God, please pay attention to grammar and punctuation marks, and please be concise.

7. I talk more after a meal/a drink.

Buy me a bowl of noodle or a cup of coffee, maybe? Hahaha just kidding, I can buy my own food/drink, alhamdulillah. But seriously, I'm much more calm and opened after a meal. If it's in a party setting, you can also try talking to me at the food stations.

8. If we have been out of contact for a long time, introduce yourself to me.

I am not an elephant, I forget things. There have been situations where unknown numbers contacting me with a,"Don't you remember me?" opening line. It may work for Adele, but it certainly doesn't work for me. Such phonecall or text message would not be answered and be put under spam.

9. If you are newly introduced to me and start asking me questions about me, may I ask that you don't repeat  the same questions?

Unless you have a short-term memory loss, repeating your questions would mean that you didn't hear my previous answer. If you didn't understand my answer, you can ask me to elaborate. But if you're asking the same question (no paraphrasing), then I would give you the same answer. I'm not a mind reader, I would not know if you don't understand unless you tell me.

10. For me, respect is reciprocal. If you give me respect, I will definitely do to. And that is how I would talk to you.

Some people may perceive some of those as anti-social articles for a communication person. But those are the things that get me talking.

What things that get you talking?

A Peek Into The Parents' Heart

People say that your relationship with your parent will improve after you have children. It  would take perhaps another few more years before it happens to me (Amin yra, and this is just self-affirmation, by the way). But I'm taking notes from my friends who already have children.

A friend who has a teenager son told me that she was not ready to see her son growing up so fast. Her 11-year-old son likes One Piece comic, which has sexy-clad characters. So she would censor the comic book by blurring out the bikini and other sexy outfits before handing the book to him.

Another friend confessed that she was not ready to wean her child, because breastfeeding has created a strong bond between her and the child, and she was afraid that her relationship with her child would not be as close as it used to be.

Another friend said that she had a nostalgia upon seeing her four-year-old daughter going to kindergarten. She suddenly has the visions of her daughter leaving for college, getting married and leaving her forever. To this I just had to say: Girl, if anything goes well, your daughter would not leave your house for the next 13 years, so relax.

I would love to have my own space, but the Indonesian culture would not allow a single woman lives alone if her parents also live in the same city. So here I am, a 37-year-old single woman still living with my parents.

Even though I have become an adult, I still receive text messages from M asking my whereabouts if I haven't reached home by 9 p.m. I finish work at 6 p.m., but sometimes I'd like to unwind and spend a bit more time with my self or with friends before going home.

This text message would spiraled to us having arguments with each others. They think I should be home as soon as possible, while I think I'm allowed to have some free time to clear my head before going home. It's a never ending issue.

I was complaining about my parents' annoying habit of checking me every night to a friend during a car ride with Go-Car, a local online car rental applications, when the driver's mobilephone rang for the second time. The first phonecall was his wife calling.

"Sir, you can pick up the phone. Your wife must be worried. We won't make any sound," I told him.

"No, it's okay, This is just my parents," he said.

"Well, it's the more reasons to pick up because they won't stop calling until you answer the phone," I said.

The driver picked up the call using a hands-free device, and the first question that blared from the phone was,"Where are you, son?!" I had to muster the laugh. There I was complaining about being the only child who was closely monitored by parents, but the driver, who was the youngest of three, already married and had a kid (yes, it was a long drive that we could learn about the driver's family), also experienced the same thing.

From those experiences, I can see that the notes basically say: (1) No matter how old you are, you will forever be that newly born baby/child/toddler in your parents' eyes, and (2) Being a parent means you would never be ready to see your kids go away.

Of Men And Flowers

Say it with flowers, an adage says. The saying stands true for Jakartans who are currently in the middle of the War of Flowers between Basuki 'Ahok' Tjahja Purnama's supporters and Anies Baswedan's supporters (for example, this news). 

But let's get away from the humdrum of Jakarta's politics to Kolkata, India. I have a soft spot for India, perhaps because D has the facial features of South Asians (ha!).

National Geographic photographer Ken Hermann was on assignment in India a few years ago, and he decided to go to a flower market on his day off. He was drawn to how the male flower vendors carried their goods. So he came back to make a portrait series.

Flowers are used for everything in India, from festivals and parties to religious rituals. The variety is enormous, from brightly hues hibiscuses and vivid crimson roses to jasmine bouquets, fragrant lotus and magnolia flowers. The photographer decided to photograph the species that he saw the vendors carrying.

The photographer originally thought about including both sexes in the series, but the women were reluctant to have their pictures taken. So he focused exclusively on the male vendors. To get these guys to take a break from their work and pose under the midday sun, he wound up paying for many of the bunches he photographed.

These stoic, masculine men put on a macho face when they get their picture taken. But you can see that they carry their flowers -- their livelihood -- in a very gentle way. You can see more here.

Let's Tackle Fake News, One News At A Time

After doing the previous post on Masjid Raya Daan Mogot, I remembered a Whatsapp chat with a journo friend several months ago about the rise of fake news. We realized that there had been a lot of fake news circulating in social media. 

Having worked for media for almost 10 years have made me questioning almost everything I read. I've become aware that media A was more into the X Party, while media was a staunch supporter of the Y Party. It's hard to find a neutral media channel. But the key to distinguish a fake news is critical thinking, which can be established through lots of practicing.

Here is a helpful infographic from IFLA on how to spot fake news:

Source

IMHO, fake news happen for two reasons, either (a) attracting public attention, or (b) diverting public attention from a more serious issue. Either way, fake news aims to get clicks from the readers. More clicks means more money. 

Why do people even bother to read such news? I suppose those people have too much information from various sources, inability to prioritize and sort the news they need, and fear of missing out. And with the rising social media, it is very easy to spread such news just with the tip of your thumb.

There is a three-step guide on why you should spread news: (a) it's a good news, (b) it's the truth (and to check the truth, go through the steps in the infographic above, please), and (c) it's for the greater good or the information in useful for public. If a news does not pass one of these three requirements, then it's not worth to spread.

Be responsible netizens, people. Stop hate, start love.

Things On Basic Education I Learn From The Current Project

Currently I am working for a development project that aims to improve quality of basic education. Therefore I get a lot of insights on that issue. It had been a wonderful experience to visit the project's partner schools and see how much they had developed and improved. 

One of the news clipping on the project. And yes, the girl in yellow headscarf holding the camera is me, doing the translation work for the American guy (This post is a shameless self promotion in disguise, after all. Hahaha).

  

Here are some of the things I learn from the current workplace:

Learning should be active, creative, effective and joyful

Of course there had been policies of active learning back in the 1990s, but it was all just jargon and slogans. In the end, the teachers gave boring monotonous lectures.

So how did the project change all that? Well, the project gave the teachers a series of trainings and mentoring sessions, which had 

One of the keys to successful active learning is most likely for the teachers to be guiding observer and let the students find the solution to the problems. To find answers to the problems posed by the teacher, the students sometimes go to library, check Internet (under the teacher's supervision, of course), interview local people (sometimes their classmate's parent) or go to the school yard for direct observation. Anything the students find with their own brain will definitely stick longer than what the teachers shove into their heads. 

Letting the students to experiment, make mistake and learn from the mistake will eventually make students to learn more than just a subject. They will learn to be independent and confident people. Those are traits that will be useful for their life, taught within the 45-minute of a class session.

Another thing I like, the project tries to make the school subject learning process as close as possible to the students' daily life. For example, a mathematical problem would ask: if the price of wood is Rp x per square meter, how much money needed to build a cupboard?

The students not only learn how to do Mathematics, but they know why they learn: to be able to survive the big world out there.

Students (and teachers) should read non-textbook books

Textbooks are good for learning the school subjects, but non-textbook books (or reading books) are important to broaden the students' horizon, nurture their imagination and improve the reading habit. 

Many of the partner schools have implemented the 15-30 minutes of reading before the learning session long before former Minister of Education and Culture Anies Baswedan issued a ministerial decree on reading habit and character building. 

The project not only encourages students to have a special reading time during school hour, but also motivates the teachers to do so. After all, the students learn from the teachers. And what kind of student do you expect to come out if the teachers don't read anything?

Tangent: When I was in high school, I would lend and borrow comic books with my classmate. But one day, there was a random raid, with the target to find and confiscate things that students should not bring to school. One of such things are non-textbook books. Long story short: the teachers found the comic books,  and they made me feel like a criminal for reading non-textbook books.

Education takes a village

To educate a child is not equal to simply enrolling the said child into an educational institution. School principal, teachers and parents should unite to find the best way to educate the children. Money is the first thing that comes in mind, but there are many ways to help. Parents can help with trees/flowers for the school yard, which can be a source for learning Biology, or they can be a sourceperson and tell the class about the work they do. 

The most important thing to increase community/public participation is to create trust, and this can only be established through transparency. Most partner schools put up the school budget in the wall, so people can see where the budget goes.

Literacy creates a life  of dignity

Reading skill is the most important aspect in education, because if you can not read well, you will not be able to comprehend what the problem means. You can not find the information needed to answer the problem too.

One of the students in the project's partner schools even taught her mother on how to read. I should write about this amazing student, and some other students too, in a separate post.

Anyway, the project will soon come to a close, and I will leave the office in 1.5 months. It's been a wonderful project, as well as a unique workplace and colleagues. I'm so grateful to have the opportunity to be a part of the team.