Monday, October 2, 2017

A Peek Into The Parents' Heart

People say that your relationship with your parent will improve after you have children. It  would take perhaps another few more years before it happens to me (Amin yra, and this is just self-affirmation, by the way). But I'm taking notes from my friends who already have children.

A friend who has a teenager son told me that she was not ready to see her son growing up so fast. Her 11-year-old son likes One Piece comic, which has sexy-clad characters. So she would censor the comic book by blurring out the bikini and other sexy outfits before handing the book to him.

Another friend confessed that she was not ready to wean her child, because breastfeeding has created a strong bond between her and the child, and she was afraid that her relationship with her child would not be as close as it used to be.

Another friend said that she had a nostalgia upon seeing her four-year-old daughter going to kindergarten. She suddenly has the visions of her daughter leaving for college, getting married and leaving her forever. To this I just had to say: Girl, if anything goes well, your daughter would not leave your house for the next 13 years, so relax.

I would love to have my own space, but the Indonesian culture would not allow a single woman lives alone if her parents also live in the same city. So here I am, a 37-year-old single woman still living with my parents.

Even though I have become an adult, I still receive text messages from M asking my whereabouts if I haven't reached home by 9 p.m. I finish work at 6 p.m., but sometimes I'd like to unwind and spend a bit more time with my self or with friends before going home.

This text message would spiraled to us having arguments with each others. They think I should be home as soon as possible, while I think I'm allowed to have some free time to clear my head before going home. It's a never ending issue.

I was complaining about my parents' annoying habit of checking me every night to a friend during a car ride with Go-Car, a local online car rental applications, when the driver's mobilephone rang for the second time. The first phonecall was his wife calling.

"Sir, you can pick up the phone. Your wife must be worried. We won't make any sound," I told him.
"No, it's okay, This is just my parents," he said.
"Well, it's the more reasons to pick up because they won't stop calling until you answer the phone," I said.

The driver picked up the call using a hands-free device, and the first question that blared from the phone was,"Where are you, son?!" I had to muster the laugh. There I was complaining about being the only child who was closely monitored by parents, but the driver, who was the youngest of three, already married and had a kid (yes, it was a long drive that we could learn about the driver's family), also experienced the same thing.

From those experiences, I can see that the notes basically say: (1) No matter how old you are, you will forever be that newly born baby/child/toddler in your parents' eyes, and (2) Being a parent means you would never be ready to see your kids go away.

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