Let's Do Something Different This Year :)

Found here

Yang Patah Tumbuh, Yang Hilang Berganti

A lovely song from Banda Neira, because today is an extra day :)

Let's Stick To Our Strengths :)

From here

I usually put Rose is Rose comic strip to kick off the year. But recently I've been reading and smiling on Bill Watterson's Calvin and Hobbes comic strips. This one captures my sentiments for this year's resolution.

Here's To A Year Of Clear Communication And Fun Activities

As far as I remember, in the first week of a year I usually post a comic from Rose is Rose or Peanuts on resolution of the year. While I seldom looked back on those resolutions, the year seemed to run just as I wished. For example, in early 2018 I posted a comic with the title of "Better Person, Less Drama". Indeed, the 2018 had been a drama-less year, although I could not say anything on becoming a better person.

For 2019, I think I will use this one for the year's resolution. Except for the kissing part (unless done with the halal ones hehehe), I think these resolutions are good to try :).

From the IG account of @bymariandrew

Better Person, Less Drama :)

From here

Less drama this year, please :)

Either Becoming A Journalist Or A Communications Person, It All Starts From The Heart

A newspaper stand in Macau

In a time where print media switching to online and some even go as far as stopping publication at all, where do print media journalists find their Noah's Ark?

That first paragraph was an attempt at writing a dramatic lede, which I kind of missed (Ha! Former journo through and through).

To answer that question, anyone, journos or not, can always make the career switch. To quote the adage: You can do anything!

Tangent: I stumbled upon Justine Le Conte's You Tube video on her career story, which elaborates why and how she made the choice to change her career. She was not a famous person, so her experience was real and something we can relate to. I like that her channel gives off positive vibes.

But I digress, where was I? Oh yeah, many of my journo friends have made the transition to analysts, entrepreneurs and also, the inevitable role as public relation people. A few weeks ago, I saw one journo friend wrote in her FB status that she did not want ever to be a public relation person.

As a former journalist with around 10 years of work experience, I was once guilty of this sin too: looking down on the profession (and practitioners) of public relation. I used to think that the public relation people sell their souls to the corporations they work at and create a false utopia through the press release. Ok, this is overly dramatic, but I was young and idealistic once.

Fortunately, several years later I had an opportunity to write advertorials. Then it all came to my senses: both journalist and public relation were paid to do their work. There were times, when I was a journo, that I felt uneasy to write the news, because the news angle could not always cover both sides.

Sometimes an editor asked me to write from an angle that I did not like, other times another editor edited my news to suit his/her point of view. I was furious when I read the newspaper and saw that the lede had been severely mutilated (again, drama queen).

I love writing, always have been and will be, but I don't want my writing to benefit just one or two people. I want my writing to give impact to many people. Therefore, I decided to walk away from the profit sector and searched for jobs in the not-for-profit sector that matched my interest. I would prefer to call my current profession as communications person, instead of public relation.

Working for not-for-profit sector has its own drawbacks, though. Most jobs in this sector are usually under one-year contract, with possible extension. I consider myself fortunate, because I'm a woman, still single and my parents give full support on my decision to work in the sector. What about people who are married and have children? What would they do when the contract/the project ends?

Believe it or not, there are men, who are married and have children, in the not-for-profit sector. They work from one project to another, and they survive. These men are my reminder of Allah's abundant blessings. The ultimate factor that makes my heart at ease is the thought that Allah provides for each living being, even if we sometime (or most of the time, astaghfirullah) don't remember Him.

Blessings are not always in the form of monetary gains. Faith in God, health (physically and mentally), fresh air, a smile from a handsome fellow commuter, the rain, the sun that comes after the rain, family (parents/siblings/spouse/children), and good friends, those are all blessings. To sum it up, your life is already a blessing.

Also, I believe everything starts from the intention of the heart. I try to remind myself on a daily basis that I work not just to get money, but to have contentment in the thought that I have helped people. A good intention brings lots of good things into your life. It will also be great if my work gets appreciation through the high remuneration.

I'm not saying that everyone should just quit their permanent jobs and work as contract employees. I just want to say that each profession has its pluses and minuses (so don't look down on other people's profession), never put your faith on humans (and corporations), give the best of yourself on every thing you do while finding opportunity to grow your skills and always be grateful for everything that you have.

Oh geez, have I bored you enough with my ramblings? Wishing you a terrific Thursday, lovelies.

Finding Yourself During A Loss

In the zen zone. A throwback photo of me in Seoul, South Korea, in 2010

A few weeks ago, a friend sent me messages about his bag being stolen while he fell asleep on board the commuter line. Inside the bag were wallet, mobilephone, and most devastating of all, his 15" MacBookPro laptop that he just bought January this year. He blamed himself for falling asleep in the train while leaving his bag unattended on the overhead shelf.

I could only say,"Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi rojiun." To Allah everything belongs, and to Allah everything shall return. I told him to let it go and start anew again.

A few months prior, I have lost many personal photo files in my portable hard disk. I have uploaded some of the photos to this blogs and other social media, but the rest were totally gone. I grieved the loss of life mementos for a few days, then I pushed myself to see things in bigger frame.

Material things such as the mobilephone and the laptop, we can always replace them with the new ones. One may argue that the contact numbers in the mobilephone and the files in the laptop are difficult to regain. But hey, in this global era, we can find a way to connect to the people and we can always recreate the files that were started as tiny abstract ideas in our grey cells. In the case of lost photos, make new ones. Nothing is impossible, as long as we are alive and doing well.

What if you lose a person that means the world to you, such as parents, siblings, spouses? What if you lose your eyesight or a body part?

The second paragraph will still be relevant. After all, we don't really own anything. Our bodies, our parents, our worldly things, and even our souls, we borrow them all from The Almighty. We only have time, such a short time for some people, to prepare our journey for the eternal hereafter. We don't even know how much time we would have.

Just like humans are only visitors on this planet, feelings are also visitors in our hearts, they come and go. Don't stick around too long with a particular emotion. Remember that this too shall pass.

Being grateful helps reduce the sorrow of losing. When losing someone dear, we should be grateful that we have met/have the opportunity to get to know that person. When losing one of the five senses, we can be grateful that at least we are still alive. There is always a lesson we can take from a loss, hence not everything is lost.

Also, if we have accepted that we don't own anything, then the life journey would be a lot easier.

Sorry if today's post is loaded with deep philosophical thoughts. I have a lot of things going inside my head and my heart lately. Writing some of them down in this space helps reducing the noise and hopefully will strengthen me during the time of loss in the future.

What would you tell yourself when you experience a loss? 

One Of The Best Advices On Relationship

My friend Vissia and her husband Untung during the trip to Takabonerate

I was walking into the office's praying room, and then bumped into two female colleagues having a conversation on relationship. One of the women, SP, who is younger, had just poured her heart to the older one, PA. I didn't hear what the problem was, but I think the advice is universal and applicable for all types of relationships.

"Respect him, but respect yourself first. If he does not respect you, leave him. You should not compromise your values for anyone."

"Anyway, you are young, and you will meet another guy who will respect you," she added.

"What if the woman is not young anymore? Should she compromise her values?" I chimed in.

PA looked me in my eyes, and said,"No woman should ever compromise her values. Mutual respect is important."

I'm definitely taking notes :).

Update: Respect is listed as number #3 in this list of successful relationship tips

Blessing And Burden

If you have a big house, it is a Blessing. 
But you have to clean it up, it becomes a Burden.

If you have a baby, it is a Blessing.
But you have to wake up in the middle of the night to feed the baby, it becomes a Burden.

If you earn degree in higher education, it is a Blessing.
But you have to work hard to earn it, it becomes a Burden.

If you are healthy, it is a Blessing.
But you have to maintain your health carefully, it becomes a Burden.

Blessing & Burden comes in a package.
We cannot just ask for a Blessing without a Burden.

If we only focus on Burden, we will never feel His Blessings.
But if we focus on the Blessings, we will feel at ease to carry the Burden.

Always remember that the Burden we carry will not exceed our power.

Therefore, enjoy your life everyday because each day is a Blessing.

-- Found the text circulating via Whatsapp, I thought I'd keep it here as a self-reminder note

How To Talk To Your Daughter About Her Body

How to talk to your daughter about her body, step one: don’t talk to your daughter about her body, except to teach her how it works.
Don’t say anything if she’s lost weight. Don’t say anything if she’s gained weight.
If you think your daughter’s body looks amazing, don’t say that. Here are some things you can say instead:
“You look so healthy!” is a great one.
Or how about, “You’re looking so strong.”
“I can see how happy you are – you’re glowing.”
Better yet, compliment her on something that has nothing to do with her body.
Don’t comment on other women’s bodies either. Nope. Not a single comment, not a nice one or a mean one.
Teach her about kindness towards others, but also kindness towards yourself.
Don’t you dare talk about how much you hate your body in front of your daughter, or talk about your new diet. In fact, don’t go on a diet in front of your daughter. Buy healthy food. Cook healthy meals. But don’t say “I’m not eating carbs right now.” Your daughter should never think that carbs are evil, because shame over what you eat only leads to shame about yourself.
Encourage your daughter to run because it makes her feel less stressed. Encourage your daughter to climb mountains because there is nowhere better to explore your spirituality than the peak of the universe. Encourage your daughter to surf, or rock climb, or mountain bike because it scares her and that’s a good thing sometimes.
Help your daughter love soccer or rowing or hockey because sports make her a better leader and a more confident woman. Explain that no matter how old you get, you’ll never stop needing good teamwork. Never make her play a sport she isn’t absolutely in love with.
Prove to your daughter that women don’t need men to move their furniture.
Teach your daughter how to cook kale.
Teach your daughter how to bake chocolate cake made with six sticks of butter.
Pass on your own mom’s recipe for Christmas morning coffee cake. Pass on your love of being outside.
Maybe you and your daughter both have thick thighs or wide ribcages. It’s easy to hate these non-size zero body parts. Don’t. Tell your daughter that with her legs she can run a marathon if she wants to, and her ribcage is nothing but a carrying case for strong lungs. She can scream and she can sing and she can lift up the world, if she wants.
Remind your daughter that the best thing she can do with her body is to use it to mobilize her beautiful soul.

Found at A Well Traveled Woman

A Whip For My Lazy Self

Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce you to Jackie Ying, one of MIT's youngest full professor and the executive director at Institute of Bioengineering and Nanotaechnology. She was born in 1996, which means she has just turned 20!

She has 150 primary patents. She is the Editor-in-chief of Nano Today which is an international peer-reviewed academic journal for nanoscience and technology. In other leading journals, she has 340 publications.

Now, what have I done during my 36 years on Earth? I feel like a dust in the wind compared to her.

Read the news here.

My Resolution For 2016

Found here

"I don't know how long God will let me live on Earth. But I pray to God, to make my life useful. Useful to the state, the nation, the other humans. I say the pray on every prayer. Because He is the Origin of All Things." -- Soekarno, 6 June 1957

Let's Give Thanks

 

A few nights ago I scrolled down my FB wall while lying on my bed, a ritual that I've been doing since the smartphone made way into my life. Then I stumbled upon a post of a friend on saying thanks, instead of sorry.

It totally blows my mind. The change of one word would make such a huge difference on how the other people perceives you. Saying "I'm sorry" would make people think you're incapable, but saying "thanks" shows you appreciate others, own your mistakes and take things in stride.

Let's start saying more 'thanks', instead of 'sorry.

Find more illustration here. The artist behind the illustration is Yao Xiao, check out her other works here. Thank you, Yao Xiao for the kind reminder.

The Hundred Secret Senses - Amy Tan

A kingdom of termites has secretly been building their fortress in my house and we just found out a couple of months ago. The termites destroyed and ruined some of D's book collections *crying*. While it was sad to see years of book collection turned into dust, I found several books that I've bought but have yet to read. 

It seemed D moved them into his bookcase without my consent. It was a fortune that these books survived the attack. The books are in English and I bought them during the Gramedia sale. The Indonesian publishing company often held insider sale, where they sell original books that have been translated into Bahasa Indonesia. One of the books is "The Hundred Secret Senses" by Amy Tan. 

So I started to read this book. The layered time line (going back and forth in the history), the two points of view (Olivia and Kwan) and different language style (Kwan speaks in broken English) made me take some time to grasp what Tan wants to convey in this novel. But once I got it, I took off quickly. I put down this book with a good feeling.

Brief summary: Olivia Yee is only five years old when Kwan, her older sister from China, comes to live with her family and turns her life upside down, bombarding her days and nights with ghostly stories of strange ancestors from the World of Yin. For the next thirty years, Olivia endures visits from Kwan and her ghosts, who offer advice on everything, from restaurant to Olivia's failed marriage. Just when she cannot bear it anymore, the revelations of a family secret open her mind to the startling truths hidden in Kwan's unorthodox vision of the world.

Here are several quotes worth remembering:

"Life's always a big fucking compromise. You don't always get what you want, no matter how smart you are, how hard you work, how good you are. That's a myth. We're all hanging in the best we can."

"You can't stop young girls from wishing. No! Everyone must dream. We dream to give ourselves hope. To stop dreaming - well, that's like saying you can never change your fate. Isn't that true?"

"To you, this may sound clumsy, not so romantic. But if someone offers to save your life, isn't that as good as going to church in a white dress and saying 'I do'?"

Seven Life Lessons

1. Let go of anger. When we erupt in anger we often feel much worse. Hence, it’s better to cool off and to work on staying calm.

2. When people treat you badly it’s rarely “about you”. More often it tells you how that person is feeling, or some other issue that is bothering them.

3. You’re not the only one who has struggled with this issue – so don’t feel so awful, or put yourself down.

4. Enjoy the good times and savour every moment as life is a precious gift to be enjoyed.

5. Work and be persistent as it’s worth the slog and pain. In the end it makes a difference as the pay off is success.

6. You need to find a passion and set yourself some goals if you want to go somewhere, and makes something of life.

7. All relationships can teach us so much about ourselves. Both the good and the bad show us who we really are. They reveal what we think, and how we feel, about ourselves – as well as what our values and our expectations are.

Found here

Let's Make Mistakes

I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes.
Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You’re doing things you’ve never done before, and more importantly, you’re Doing Something.
So that’s my wish for you, and all of us, and my wish for myself. Make New Mistakes. Make glorious, amazing mistakes. Make mistakes nobody’s ever made before. Don’t freeze, don’t stop, don’t worry that it isn’t good enough, or it isn’t perfect, whatever it is: art, or love, or work or family or life.
Whatever it is you’re scared of doing, Do it.
Make your mistakes, next year and forever.

-- Neil Gaiman

Travel-Related Words

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Write Or Do

Found here

Let's Make Excellence A Habit

Found here

Crossing Java On Foot

Photo source

"Get out of your chairs. Turn off the computer. Turn off the TV. Go out and see the world. Really experience it, up close. Even taking a walk around your neighborhood will give you a whole new perspective. And going out of the city, either walking or on a bicycle meandering on back roads, gives you a sense of nature, the outdoors, and the people that you just can’t get from inside a car.”-- Bert Sacre, Belgian born graphic designer and art historian, who did the Cross Java Walk

Read and see photos on Sacre's 12-day trip going through the 200 km long jalanvaganza from the Java Sea to Indian Ocean, over four volcanoes (Merapi, Merbabu, Telomoyo and Ungaran) here.

P.S. About the wedding of my cousin, I came on the reception event, instead of the wedding vow, and then busily ate that I forgot to take photos. So no photos, sorry. This is why I would never become a wedding photographer :P