On Why I Resigned From One Of The Jobs

While we are in the spirit of kicking off the new year with targets and goals, let me share the news of my resignation from one of the projects I worked on. Actually, I submitted the resignation letter a day before Christmas 2019. And dude, it felt so liberating! 

At first, the project was quite fun. The people are nice, the jobs are manageable and the pay is, well, decent. However, after I submitted the invoice at the end of the first month, I still had yet to receive any transfer on my bank account until mid of second month of working. 

So here is the beginning of how I decide to resign.

I contacted the admin person, telling her that I had sent the invoice, and she replied that the finance person was sick so my invoice was not processed yet. I waited for a week, and then asked whether the finance person had recovered. The admin person replied: yes, the finance had come to the office. So I waited for another week, and still no sign of money in my bank account. I finally asked whether the office had processed my invoice, because I saw a transfer on my bank account. The admin person was surprised with the question, and then said she forgot to process the invoice and apologized for the delayed payment.

[Say whaaat???]

By the time she told me the invoice was not processed, it was already nearing the end of the second month. So I told her that I would send the second invoice soon, and that they could process the first invoice along with the second. And guess what? The office had a delayed payment again on the second month. And also on the third month. These incidents made me rethink my options.

Although I have other sources of income, I have to say that the delayed payment really affected my work ethos. Rather than working on the job from this office quickly, I prioritized works from other projects. But of course, the other projects pay me on time. If there was a delay on other office, it was only 2-3 days of delay. 

A few months later, I just felt the urge to quit, because (1) this office demanded that I replied to their emails quickly and submitted my works as soon as possible (but how come they didn't pay as soon as possible?), (2) this office messed up my schedule. I have told them honestly up front that I have other commitments in other places, but I could arrange my schedule as long as they informed me two weeks in advance. That two-week notice never happened, and (3) it is not worth my health to have too many jobs (and income) but slowly drain my mental health because I felt depressed with the work loads.

To have better health (physically and mentally), I decided to drop one of the projects. And I chose this one that had been paying me late. Some of you may wonder, why didn't I raise the delayed payment problem to the boss. Well, the salary itself was not an issue, but more of how I felt with the whole situation. I mean, I have worked for one month and sent my invoice. They could just pay it. If they felt that the invoice was incorrect, I would revise it. I would feel like a beggar if I nagged them for it. I think the office should establish a system to ensure all payments are done without being reminded by third party people like me. The delayed payment showed that they were not ready to recruit another person.

So the office and I decided to have one last meeting before the Christmas and New Year holiday. It turned out to be our last meeting. We both agreed that I quit the project. I did not tell them about the delayed payment issue (or how it has affected my work ethos), because I just wanted to quit. There was no anger, no sadness. I walked out of the office with a happy face. It took me several months to figure out the things I wanted and did not want or to say yes to the things I like and no to the things I do not like. But I finally said it. It is definitely a lesson, and one that I will remember whenever I apply for a job.

[Movie] Marriage Story - A Movie Review With Some Thoughts On Marriage

From here

Disclaimer: spoilers ahead.

I read rave reviews on how good 'Marriage Story' is, so I decided to spend 137 minutes to watch the movie that is directed by Noah Baumbach. It is a movie that makes you question life and of course, marriage, as the title implies, in which it could be the reason it gained many award nominations. 

The movie opens with the voice of Charlie (Adam Driver) and Nicole (Scarlett Johansson) reading their notes on what they like about their spouse, elaborating on each other good traits and showing their beautiful life in New York as theatre director husband and actress wife. However, the scene slowly turns to sour as the camera shows both Charlie and Nicole sitting awkwardly, away from each other, in the marriage counselor room. The counselor kindly asks them to read the notes out loud, but Nicole refuses and leaves the room.

The next few minutes have yet to give any clue on the problems faced by the couple. People think they are the perfect power couple, as Charlie directs plays and Nicole stars in his plays. The couple, who has been married for around 10 years (I assume, because their son Henry is about eight years old), decide to split amicably, without involving any lawyers.

As Nicole wants to return to LA for a few months to work on a TV series, she brings Henry along with her. During her stay in LA, she consults with Nora, a lawyer played by Laura Dern, who suggests that Nicole files for divorce.

And then things get nasty.

Nicole feels that during her marriage, Charlie never considers her requests to try living in LA, where her mother Sandra (Julie Hagerty) and sister Cassie (Merrit Wever) live. She says that Charlie once had an opportunity to get artist residentship for one year in LA, but instead he took a six-month project in Denmark (or some Scandinavian country). She also thinks Charlie slept with the theatre manager, which was later proved to be true.

When Charlie comes to visit Henry, he tells Nicole that he wins MacArthur fellowship grant. Nicole congratulates him, and Charlie says in passing that he will not be able to do it without her. For a second, it feels like Nicole is considering to cancel the lawyer thing. But then Charlie is busy searching for something in the kitchen, and Nicole makes up her mind.

Cassie enters the kitchen, to give Charlie the divorce paper and is told to find a lawyer. Charlie meets with Jay (Ray Liotta), who told him to go dirty. Jay says that since the marriage was done in LA and Henry was born in LA, there is a big chance that Nicole wins the case if it is held in LA courts. Jay suggests Charlie to file the case in New York. Charlie refuses and returns to New York without hiring any lawyer, only to receive a phonecall from Nora who reminds him to get a lawyer or face the risk of losing custody over Henry.

Charlie hires Bert, a lawyer with conciliatory approach. During a meeting between the parties, Nora shows Charlie and Bert that Nicole has better chance of getting the custody. Bert later advises Charlie to drop his residency in New York, which makes Charlie furious and fire him. Charlie finally hires Jay, and the court room scenes become the battle ground between the two lawyers.

The movie could be a personal project for director Noah Baumbach, who was divorced from actress Jessica Lange, and Scarlett Johansson, who was divorced from journalist and art consultant Romain Dauriac. However, Adam Driver also delivers great acting as a cold and inexpressive theatre director. In many points along 'Marriage Story', I can't help thinking that this marriage can still be saved and that there is still hope for the couple.

The problem in Charlie and Nicole's marriage is, similar to other marriages (methinks), the lack of communications between the couple. Nicole, who left her career in LA to be with Charlie, feels that her efforts are under-appreciated. As Charlie (and his theatre group) takes the spotlight, Nicole begins to question whether she can do better and whether there are other career choices out there. She starts to avoid Charlie at home, and Charlie seeks comfort from other people (bad choice, Charlie).

Since marriage consists of two people, we can't just blame Nicole or Charlie for the divorce. But on second thought, the divorce may not be a bad thing for them as they become on friendly terms after the decision comes out. All in all, I think this movie is good for both married couples and singles, as it gives us the harsh reality that it is hard to live and share your life with another human.

The 40 Things I Know For Sure

Oprah Winfrey has a column titled 'What I Know For Sure' in her monthly magazine elaborating on one topic she knows for sure. Some of the topics included Let Passion Drive Your Profession, Every Day Is A Chance to Start Over, and What You Put Out Comes Back All The Time, No Matter What. I don't intend to turn this blogs into a deep-thought, meditational space, but just for fun and to celebrate my 40th birthday, here are 40 things I know for sure in the 40 years of my life. I wish I knew these in my 20s.

The Ultimate Knowledge

This one is a bonus in advance. The one thing I know for sure is that I don't know anything is for sure. Everything I write below is just based on my experience. But you can create your own experience. Don't take everything here for sure.

On skills one must have

1. Reading skill is, in my opinion, a must-have. I'm not just talking about spelling out ABC or reading a map. We should be able to read between the lines, opportunities, our strength and weakness, people's intention, signs from the nature, and (ok, this sounds so grandiose) the spirit of an era. I'm still learning to read, though.

2. Writing or story-telling is the next skill one can benefit so much. This is an accompaniment to the first point :).

3. Being bilingual (or more) gives you an advantage in life. You do not have to master a foreign language, the ability to understand a local language provides the same power. This comes from a Java born-and-bred girl who is often thought to be an East Nusa Tenggara girl (and got discounted items for speaking in their accent).

4. Regardless of the gender, everyone should know how to do domestic chores, such as cooking, washing and sewing (even if it is only to keep a button on). Those are life skills and will help you survive.

5. Other skills, such as mathematics and computing, can be learned. I know this for sure.

On working hard to get the skills

6. I don't believe in gift/talent. I think everyone should work hard to get the skills I mentioned above. If you can learn the skills quicker than other people, then it must be Allah's will.

7. Find mentors/role models/friends/communities who can support/teach/share tips with you on the skills. Learn the skills from another human. Don't just read from books, because humans are the most complete living books you will ever read.

8. The problems that hamper you in the learning process could mean that you may need to learn the skills in a different way. Unlearn the old way, and then learn again in your own way.

9. When you think that you spend your time for no progress during the learning process, you are just being tired, take a break. But never give up.

10. The learning process will never betray the result.

On the most important things to have at hand

11. National ID, Passport and Driving License will take you places one day. Be sure to have them with you at all times.

12. Instead of collecting items, try collecting experiences/skills.

13. Quality items, not necessarily high-brand items. Taking your stuffs regularly to repair shop due to its low quality is a waste of time. 

14. Over the years, you will realize that you do not need that many stuffs in life. You should only keep what you need, and that includes feelings (ouch!).

15. Regardless of the prices, the sizes and the meanings, always take good care of your stuffs, especially the gadgets you use for work. Be it a laptop or a pencil.

On taking care of your health

16. I think our overall health is mostly determined by oral hygiene, because the immune system is produced in our digestive system and mouth as the entrance plays important role. Brush your teeth, floss, use mouthwash, and go to dentist once every six month.

17. Your five senses (sight, sound, smell, skin, taste) are God's gifts. Be sure to take care of them and be grateful for them.  

18.  I think everyone has a super power that allows them to be healthy. You should find yours. Mine is being able to sleep anytime, anywhere.

19. Regular fasting for detox, have enough rest, and drink enough water. Insya Allah, you will be alright.

20. Most illnesses come from mind or heart, so just throw away those negative thoughts/worries. It's never easy, but so worth it.

On life, in general

21. It is never too late to dream, start a business or get in a relationship. 

22. Every person has their own journey and their own timeline in this world, so no need to compare your life with other's. 

23. Regardless of the picture-perfect life people post in social media, everyone is struggling.

24. Have faith.

25. Your heart, the inner voice that guides you within, is always right. Never ignore it.

26. Good thoughts will show on the outside.

27. Being kind to everyone, even those who hate you, actually benefit yourself. Also, you don't lose anything with just being kind.

28. Everyone has different ability, take them as they are. Don't put such great expectation on humans, including parents, spouse and children. You should always place the expectation to God.

29. To follow up the previous point, humans have been in evolution since zillions of decades and will never stop to develop. So don't lose hope.

30. Always take a few deep breaths before responding to something.

On friendship and relationship

31. Friendship is just like other relationship. Sometimes it is unrequited, sometimes it has to end.

32. All relationships need hard work to make them successful.

33. People will always remember how you make them feel.

34. Your time in this world is worth too much to be spent with someone who does not appreciate your existence.

35. Allah created you as a whole and complete sentient being. Don't let other people saying otherwise, just because you're still single at the moment.

36. The bad things that happened to you actually saved you from something else. Always be grateful, even for the bad things.

37. The best gift you can give to another being and yourself is good prayers. Keep your loved ones and your enemies in your prayer, because it will come back to you.

38. Give the young ones the opportunity to talk and make their own decision. Let them learn from the experience.

39. The best relationship you will ever have is the one with Your Creator.

40. The best friend you will ever have is yourself. Love yourself.

Let's Stick To Our Strengths :)

From here

I usually put Rose is Rose comic strip to kick off the year. But recently I've been reading and smiling on Bill Watterson's Calvin and Hobbes comic strips. This one captures my sentiments for this year's resolution.

A Decade Of Blogging My 30s And Being 40 Years Old

Today I turn 40 years old and have been blogging in this space for 10 years. Wow! This blogs have come a long way. Also, being able to call myself a 40-year-old is quite cool because it means I survived my 20s and 30s.

The year leading to the new decade is usually a scary one. I remembered being a 19-year-old and then being 29-year-old and panicking about turning 20 and 30 in the next year. And you know what? Everything went well. 

Having passed the change of decade three times does not necessarily make the fourth one easy. There were struggles, but things do indeed get easier and make more sense as I age. I make peace with everything in my life. I am learning to accept my body, my parents, and the circumstances that Allah place me in.

Getting old also means becoming more grateful of the life I have. I've seen other people around my age die. Regardless of the age, good people and annoying people (I'm trying to be positive by not using 'bad people') died. In the end, we will die. So what made one person different to the other people? The good deeds, and that's what I strive to achieve in my life.  

Also, as much as I want to get married, I realize that I want to spend my time in this world with people who can help me improve and be a better person. It may take me longer to find the other half, but I am not going to rush into things.

My 30s has been an amazing journey. Not everything went as expected, but I am grateful for everything that Allah has bestowed upon me. Let's have a quick recap of what the last decade has taught me. So how did the last 10 years treat me?

2010. It was probably the year of comfort zone. I was still in the Sunday edition of an English-language newspaper. I got a fellowship to South Korea during Ramadhan and celebrated Idul Fitri there. By the end of the year, I received notification that I was transferred to the National desk.

2011. Although the year started with a bright kick off (a fellowship to Rome, Italy in February and another one to Hanoi, Vietnam in March), it later turned a bit dark as D was hospitalized twice this year. I also received mistreatment at the office. Then by the end of the year, I received notification that I was transferred to the Supplement desk, which was about advertorials and non-news.

2012. It was not exactly a fun year to start. I struggled to learn new writing method as I was assigned in the Supplement division. But I got better, and even my supervisor acknowledged my efforts and progresses. Also, I enjoyed the regular work hours as I got days off on weekends for the first time in the eight years that I had been working as a journo. This year, I did quite a lot of traveling with my friends and also tried solo traveling to Ukraine during Euro Cup 2012.

2013. The year started sour as my colleague (who was under annual contract) was being let go. It gave me a new perspective that I should find another workplace. The office would always find someone to replace me, and the thing that happened to my colleague could happen to me. After some job-hunting (and also soul-searching), I finally took the decision to left journalism and embarked upon a new career path as a communications person in a not-for-profit organization. I took this leap of faith six years ago, but I still remembered the giddy feeling it gave me. One of the highlights of the new job was being entrusted to organize a field visit to Kalimantan. And I had never been to Kalimantan! Everything went well, alhamdulillah. An important trip to remember in this year was the Malaysia-Thailand-Cambodia trip, with the highlight of being in Bangkok during Songkran Festival.

2014. The communications boss in that new office resigned last year, so I did everything in the communications department on my own. After being constantly bugged by M&D to enroll in that master degree I did not want, I finally succumbed. Studying while working was not a good idea, I soon found that a master's degree required stamina and free time. Also happening this year was I had to go to Peru for around three weeks for the COP 20 and it was in the middle of my semester test. I informed the program head and he kindly arranged that I had a later deadline for test submissions. My travel buddy Anin married in Solo a few days before my departure to COP 20 Peru, and the crazy thing was, I made it to her wedding! And I was so grateful I did.

2015. My contract at the NGO office ended in December 2014. After three months of being unemployed (but I did freelance works), I got another job in an education project, which was slated to end in 2017. I made some good friends in the project and visited some cities in Java island every six months for the project's national staff meeting. Overall, this was an easy-go-lucky year.

2016. I went to Hong Kong with my travel buddy Anin in April. Her husband works in Hong Kong, so in a way, it was a quick getaway for Anin and husband. Also happening this year was my graduation from that master degree I didn't choose in September. There was a personal problem this year, and I felt like it put me into a depression. However, a month before the year ended, I got reconnected with a colleague from Brunei Darussalam and he was in a way helping me to get through it.

2017. I started  the year without any expectation. I also started to eat healthy food, incorporated more fruit and vegetable into my diet. A few weeks before I was discharged from the education project, I got an offer from a 9-month project on renewable energy in Sumba island, East Nusa Tenggara. In November, I got a phonecall from a former colleague, asking my help to work on a weekly and monthly media monitoring report on family planning and immunization until December 2018. I decided to give both jobs a try.

2018. The project in Sumba island ended in March and I was left in unemployment (again!). Fortunately, I got a freelance offer from a Singapore-based company to work on media monitoring. It was quite a serious freelance, because it is a daily job with dedicated work hours (between 6.30 and 11 a.m.). It also has deadlines for the two reports I need to finish during the said work hours. After several weeks working with the company, the boss asked if I could work on two other reports (a weekly and a bi-weekly), which I also took. Besides those jobs, I also received other freelance jobs with more relaxed deadlines. This year was the year Indonesia became host of Asian Games, and I got to watch some sport games in GBK sport complex. 

2019. The freelance period continued as the Singapore-based company renewed my contract. Apart from that Singapore office, I also continued the freelance job for an Indonesian company on weekly media monitoring on health issues (family planning, national healthcare insurance and telemedicine); the English-language newspaper that was my former office entrusted me to translate a quarterly magazine of a mining company and other translation works; and a project on youth entrepreneurs. There were also other small translation projects. Work wise, 2019 has been a very productive year. Despite all the works, I made time to take breaks. In January, I renewed my passport and made a mental note to take up traveling as often as I can. Lo and behold, this year I went to Malaysia (end of April-early May), Japan (end of June-early July) as well as Kuching and Brunei Darussalam (end of October). Meanwhile, national-wise, I went to Yogyakarta, Solo, Semarang, Blitar, Malang and Pontianak. Travel stories were still in the process, so please come back to those months in archive a bit later if you'd like to read. Also, I took a baking class and dream mapping session, which I would write about when I had the time. This year, I decided to continue developing my skills and network as freelancer. And perhaps, one day I will open an office for content writing, graphic design, branding and marketing as well as communications (Amin yra!).

I still have many dreams, such as getting that scholarship, working abroad, traveling to those faraway countries and getting that book written down out of my head. But as I am entering the big four-o, my main goal would be to stay at peace, which sounds easy, but trust me it is not. I still struggle from this uneasy feeling, which I could not let go. I hope the next decade would help me to be more wise, calm and forgiving to myself.

Thank you for being a part of this blogs. I would continue writing in this space. As random as I have been.

Wishing you a wonderful year ahead!

A Map of the 637 Languages Spoken in NYC

I saw this NYC map on Internet and then the corner of my eyes spotted several languages around Jackson Heights area that are from Indonesia: Bahasa Indonesia, Bahsa Aceh (Acehnese), Bahsa Mathura (Madurese) and Bahasa Sunda (Sundanese). I also saw Batak language near the UN area. My head was blown. Thank you, Indonesian diaspore for bringing the languages to the city that never sleeps. 

Found here, from Cup of Jo

My Septuagenarian Parents' Take On Internet And Smartphone

1. Some Battery Problem

Situation: Two years ago, I gave M my old smartphone (bought in 2015), and the battery has been showing early sign of impending death. 

M: Hi kid, there is a battery on that desk.

Me: (looking at the desk and battery, it was a brand of Advan) Yes, what about it?

M: Could you change the battery in my smartphone with that one?

Me: Mom, your smartphone brand is Smartfren, the battery brand is Advan.

M: So? We couldn't use it?

Me: We might as well use Energizer if it were possible

2. Smartphone Acquisition Plan

M: When are you planning to buy a new smartphone?

Me: Oh, I don't know. Mine is relatively new, just bought it in 2017. Why?

M: If you buy a new one, can I use yours?

Me: Why don't you buy a new one if you need it?

M: I don't really need a brand new smartphone.

3. When The WiFi Died

Situation: I forgot to pay the Internet bill and then it was blocked (yeah, my bad, I totally forgot).

M: I think my smartphone is in error. I can't use WhatsApp. I think we should buy a new one.

Me: Chill, Mom. It's just the Internet stop operating because I forgot to pay. 

M: Oh.

4. Or When They Accidentally Turned Off WiFi On Their Smartphones

D: I think my smartphone is in error. I can't use WhatsApp. 

Me: Give me your smartphone, let me have a look. See, you turned off the WiFi, that's why. Nothing is wrong.

D: Oh it must be M who turned that off.

M: (suddenly appeared) How did you know I did it? I think it was you who did it. (fighting mode on)

Me: (quietly made my exit)

5. When They Found A Universe Called YouTube

Situation: Somehow, both of my parents learned how to open YouTube. 

M: Did you know that xxx did xxx (insert anything that is hoax)?

Me: Mom, you know that everything on Internet is not always right, right?

M: It's not?

Me: I mean, you should always check if it's accurate or not.

M: But how?

Me: You can cross check those on Google.