Thursday, August 14, 2014

On Saying Feelings Out Loud

If you have a crush on someone, do you convey your feelings to him/her? 

Growing up as a shy girl, I've never said them out loud. If I ever like a guy, I would just keep those feelings to myself. I would be one of those quiet girls who watch from afar, but never have the guts to make the first move. I don't think I would ever have the guts to do such bravado.

I thought this shy trait is something that only Asians have, but my trips to China and South Korea proved me wrong. Asian girls can be bold too.

In 2008 I was visiting Beijing, China, with a group of journalists, three women and three men. One of the journalists was a tall, a bit muscular, dark-skinned, moustachioed man. During the trip, we joked about the type of man/woman we like. Upon hearing the conversation topic, the tour guide, a tall Chinese lady, said loudly,"I like the man sitting in the back of this bus."

We all looked at the man. The man, who was already married, was surprised with the declaration. Trying to hide his shock, he looked to his back, as if there was another person sitting behind him. The tour guide shouted and pointed at him,"It's you that I'm talking about. You!" #Eaaa

Similar situation happened in South Korea. I went to this cafe, which only had male waitstaffs. One of the waiters was a tall bespectacled Korean guy. He's not really that good looking, but eyeglasses are my kryptonite (ha!). I jokingly said to Seul-ki, a Korean friend, that the waiter was cute. 

Guess what? She approached the waiter and asked if he would like to take a picture with me because I thought he was cute. I just wanted to die right there. The guy was kind enough to take a picture with me (said picture would not be published, at least not now), but the situation got a bit awkward afterwards.

Now that I'm already in my 30s, I've been trying to thicken my skin a bit. I composed pick up lines (you can read those failed attempts here). Then I practiced to drop the lines without batting an eyelash (it was even more difficult). Perhaps it would take another 30 years for me to become bolder, but one thing for sure: I would try to be the voice that I am.

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