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I watched this movie after 'Parasite' won the 2020 Oscar, and I would recommend anyone to watch this. South Korean movies have solid stories and touching ways to deliver the message, this movie just made me crying, in a good way, of course.
An adaptation from the novel of the same title by Cho Nam-joo, the movie centers on Kim Ji-young (Jung Yu-mi), a young mom of a five year-old girl Ah-young, who feels that she is not doing well enough. She spends the days taking care of household chores, the baby and the family, but she will feel empty every time she watch the sun set from the apartment's balcony.
Her husband Jung Dae-hyun (Gong Yoo) is worried because he sees how Ji-young often speaks as if she is inhabited by her mother/older sister/late grandma. At first he thinks it's postpartum syndrome, but as their daughter grows older, the signs continue. Ji-young sometimes drinks beer in the middle of the night, and does not remember anything about it. He urges her to see a psychiatrist, but she keeps skirting the subject, especially when she knows that the cost is expensive.
As the movie progress, audience will learn slowly on the cause behind Ji-young's condition. The movie moves back and forth, showing Ji-young when she was little, when she was teenager and during her employee stint period. Her mother, who quitted school to work as a tailor and supported the family, once told little Ji-young that she dreamed of becoming a teacher, but she had to give up dream to fend for the family.
Another scene shows how teenage Ji-young is being harassed in a bus. She manages to escape after she asks help from a woman who sees that she looks uncomfortable. However, her father blames Ji-young for wearing short skirt. Her father also once told her to just get married, during which her mother cut him short and encouraged her to pursue her dream and live the life she wants.
Before she was married, Ji-young works in a company. She admired her female boss, and once thought that the boss hated her. But the boss explained that the company needed a solid team that could spend long time. The boss, reflecting on her own situation as a working mom, did not want to place Ji-young in a difficult situation. The innocent Ji-young confidently said that she would still do well like the boss after she was married and had children.
Once Ji-young was married, the patriarchal culture and the societal pressure in South Korea that demand women to get married and have children come barreling down. Dae-hyun asks her to try having children, although she is still not ready. Similar pressure is also faced by Ji-young's older sister, Eun-young, who is still single, but she just shrugs it off.
It turns out that patriarchal culture and rigid family structure become the main cause of Ji-young's mental breakdown. In one scene, Ji-young should visit her mother-in-law with Dae-hyun. Just when she is about to complete her dish washing duty, her sister-in-law comes and her mother-in-law asks her to serve food for the newly visiting family members.
While Dae-hyun does not understand what exactly has happened, he knows that his wife is not feeling well. He sees how Ji-young's face lit up when informing him about a new job offer from the former boss, and suggests that he takes parental leave to take care of Ah-young on her first year at the new office. He just wants to see Ji-young happy again, and if a new job will bring back the woman he loves, he will do anything. However, when Dae-hyun's mother hears the news, she scolds Ji-young for putting her son's career at stake by telling him to take parental leave. The conversation with the mother-in-law sends Ji-young to another depression state, which makes her talking as if she is her late grandmother.
Dae-hyun finally breaks the fact to Ji-young, by showing a video of her talking like her mother. Taking the news bravely, Ji-young decides to put her mental health first. She turns down the job offer to start therapy sessions with the psychiatrist that Dae-hyun suggests, starts journaling, and stands up when several people say she is not a capable mother behind her back.
My take on this movie: I guess all Asians have similar condition, because the family structure is more than just nuclear family, but also unite the families from both the husband and wife. It's important to get a spouse who really love and take you as you are, not as the extended family demands her/him to be. Also, couples should communicate on their vision ahead of the marriage. Some women still want to work in office and do something in the community, but they have to end their dream because the patriarchal culture deems their dreams are unworthy. I love that Ji-young and Dae-hyun work together to solve the issue because that's what good marriage is. Happy women make happy families, and in the end will make happy nation.
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