Some Real Life Pick Up Lines

While I do not have many experiences in love and relationship, I can not stop being a hopeless romantic. But if you have read this blogs from the beginning, you can figure this out by now:).  

To close the month of February, I have compiled the pick up lines from my guy friends in real life. Here they are without further ado...

"For all of you, I may just die, because you're worth it." - a guy friend who was complimenting a girl's bright red lipstick color.

"You absolutely deserve to be addressed as poetically 'milady'." - a guy friend who shares similar interest on Game of Thrones with a girl.

"Love it when your funny naughtiness appears." - a guy friend who has kinky perverted thoughts (lol).

"I don't really do cinemas anymore, only with you." - a guy friend when a girl asked what was the last movie he watched in the theaters.

"If there is just one thing I would like to see in life before I die, it's you during the early 2000s." - a guy friend trying to see a photo of a girl in her younger days.

What are the sweetest pick up lines you ever heard in real life? :)

Which Is More Important: Compatibility Or Chemistry?

A few years ago, a friend tried a paid dating service and then told me about the process. First, she had to answer a series of question on her preferences. Then, the company will try to find a person with the highest compatibility in its directory and set the meet up. Long story short, she met the guy with more than 80% compatibility. However, the first meeting went bland for both sides.

She asked me to meet her at our usual ramen shop to unload her experience. As a good friend, I obliged. 

"What seems to be the problem?" I asked.

"I don't know. I mean he's not bad, a bit good looking, has a stable job, well-dressed, well-educated and well-spoken too. But the chemistry was not there," she said.

"Did you have those uncomfortable silence in between the conversation?"

"Not really. The conversation went great, no awkward silence. It's just, something was off and the feeling is mutual."

As our ramen arrived, we stopped talking and dove deep into our bowls (we had our priorities straight). We continued talking about other stuffs later on. I did not think much of her experience, then recently I saw this video. Then a bulb just turns on inside my head.

You may meet a person who ticks off all factors in your preference list: height/weight/body type, skin tone, eye color, profession, age, religion, hobby, etc. But if the chemistry or attraction was not there, there will be no relationship.

However, the talk with my friend has sparked curiosity within. What are my preference factors on a guy? As an introverted only child, I think mine would simply say: a guy who can engage me in any topics and good looks would be a real bonus. Actually, the Before trilogy uses this as its success recipe.

"So will you be trying this dating service again?" I asked her before we parted ways.

"Sure, why not? I'm open to all kinds of experience now. And it's not as scary as I have thought," she said, smiling confidently.

Wow, isn't she so brave? I wish I can have at least half of her guts. I haven't had any thought of using dating service myself, because for me it's so hard to open up to a total stranger. But since I am now working from home and do not have any prospect of meeting new love interest, I might need to step up the gutsy game.

Have you tried dating service and get any luck with the match? Any recommendations?

The Art Of Gifting By Guys

While I always think men as weirdly wired creatures, I also find that there are many things I can learn from them, such as the art of gifting. I am not a good gift person, so I usually just ask the persons if they have something they really need at the moment. I could observe the person, make a guess on what they need and shop the product if I want to, but these days I just want to simplify the process, just like most guys do.  

Here are some examples of how guys make decisions on which gifts they give:

#1. The items that have the woman's favorite color
Once I received a book from a guy. It was a real surprise, because it was the same book that D gave me years ago. The new book has been reprinted in hardcover version.
Me: Wow, thank you, this is a famous book. How did you decide to pick this book?
Guy Friend: Oh, the book spine is in pink, your favorite color.
Me: ^_^

#2. The items they want to see the woman in it
Giving clothing to a woman is a bit tricky, but when a guy does that, it's because he thinks the clothing would look good on the woman. This is a conclusion of conversation with most friends.

#3. The items they can also use
When I met a friend recently, she was working on a grey Retina Display MacBook Pro, which looks thinner and lighter than a MacBook Air. As I am planning to buy a spare laptop (currently I am using an MBP that was bought in 2010), I ask her several questions on the specs.
Friend: Oh, my husband bought this for me. I don't really know the specs.
Me: Despite being thin, it looks very tough, probably due to the color.
Friend: Actually, it is available in Rose and Gold. The gold ones were not available in Batam (where my friend lives), and my husband was against the rose one, because it looks too feminine as he plans to borrow the laptop.
Me: ^_^

Similar proof was when I met up with another friend, she was wearing a Samsonite backpack, which looks good but which I also knew it was not her style.
Me: This new backpack is a bit different from your other stuffs
Friend: It's a birthday gift from husband. He chose this simple black one so he can use it too.
Me: ^_^

#4. The items within the price range
A guy friend suddenly hit me up with an urging question: where does one buy affordable women's shoes? He wanted to give a pair of shoes to his girlfriend for Christmas.
Me: Have you checked online shops? They usually have branded shoes within reasonable prices.
Guy Friend: Nah, still too expensive. I'm looking for anything below Rp 300,000
Me: Do you really love your girlfriend?

Another friend was ogling discounted items at The Body Shop, so I asked which one she liked.
Friend: Well, I really like this item, but my husband already bought another item, which was on sale but I didn't like it that much.
Me: You can give him some hints next time on your favorite items.
Friend: Unfortunately, that item is seldom on discount. So my strategy now is to find discounted items that I can like.

#5. The items that are functional because Form Follows Function (#ArchitectureStudentInsideJoke)
Years ago, a guy friend gave a watch as farewell gift.
Me: Wow, thank you. Why a watch, if I may ask? I would receive anything from you happily.
Guy Friend: Well, you don't wear a watch. I think you need a watch. And it can also remind you of the good times we had every time you look at the watch.
Me: (I was just speechless)

Another time, a guy friend gave me a bone-shaped pencil case with Totoro's face sketch and a water thermos, all in pink.
Me: Wow, these are so cute.
Guy Friend: And you can use them on a daily basis!
Me: ^_^

#6. Food
In most cases, food is the best gift. I mean, unless you have allergy or health issues, who can resist a box of chocolate? Or a cake? And the guy can also get a slice of the cake, which brings us back to point #3 (ha!).

The aforementioned cases do not hold true for all guys. There are guys who take the time to figure out the perfect gifts. Don't lose hope! Also, either it's a watch or a water thermos, one should always be grateful to receive the gifts. The guys have spent time to think and shop for the gifts, it was already an achievement.

If you are a guy, and you stumble upon this post by happenstance, what are your methods to find gifts for your loved ones? And if you are a girl, what do you give to the guys in your lives? 

What Are Your Deal Breakers?

Chemistry in a relationship is so difficult to pin down. Sometimes you just know that you can get along with a certain person  in the first few seconds, sometimes it takes more time to figure out. The hard reality is when one party does not share the same sentiments as the other. There are many reasons for a deal breaker, but communications is the main issue.

Here are some of the deal breaker situations that I gather from friends and colleagues (Disclaimer : I omit the names to protect the innocents):

"I went out with this guy, and he introduced me to his family. During the meeting, his mother bombarded me with questions on my lineage, who was my great grandfathers and so on. I come from a very ordinary family, while he has relation with some keraton (old Yogyakarta courts) family. I just had to call it off."

"When my former boyfriend and I discuss the wedding plan, he told me that he would take no-collateral loan of Rp 100 million for the wedding reception. I was so appalled by the idea of taking a loan just for a one-day party. If it were for buying our house, I would have agreed. I think we have different ideas on budget and finances. I decided to say no."

"A cleric introduced me to this guy, and we communicated via Whatsapp. But I noticed that his responses were always short and did not open further conversation. I guess he was just not that into me, so we just stopped contacting each other."

"A guy had proposed me, but then his colleague asked me if my father died because the guy took a leave from work to 'attend the funeral of his girlfriend's father'. It turned out that his former girlfriend's father died and the girl asked him to come to her house, which is located in...Lampung! I confronted him with the news, and he did not apologize. I just had to break with him."

"I have been introduced to some guys, but the guys seemed to lack in manners. One example was when we went out to an eatery, he ate a dish and could not finish it. He told the waiter to pack it for takeaway and handed it to me, saying that it was for my mom. I didn't say anything to my mom."

"A guy came when I was in my 20s. But if I said yes, I would have to leave this country and family. Also, I was not ready, so I declined. Do I regret it? I think we were just not meant to be."

"The first matchmaking offer was with a guy who kept asking the same question throughout the day:'what are you doing at the moment?' (Indonesian version:'lagi apa?'). If I replied to that question, he would ask the same question again a few minutes later. At that moment, my job took most of my work time and I could not reply real-time. So I told the guy:'could you ask another question that does not have timeframe? Because I could not answer quickly'. I mean, he could ask about what kind of books I like to read, etc, you know, the kind of questions that lead to more questions and conversation. However, he thought I called it off and reported to his mother that I was not available. It was a simple question, but he misinterpreted it."

"One day, my cousin told me he had a single friend, who was serious to get married. So we were introduced via telephone, and started texting each other. The initial conversation was a boring one, such as where do you work, etc. I decided to ask a question I considered innocent: 'are you smoking?' The guy seemed offended with that question and never replied again. I just knew that my future husband and I should be able to discuss any topics, however controversial it might seem."

"There was this guy who was a son of my father's friend, the fathers thought we would get along well. So they introduced us and we tried getting to know each other via Whatsapp. But on a particular Sunday, in which the guy had promised to come to my house, he did not come or send me any message at all. I finally texted him at 7 p.m. asking if he had called the visit off. His response was,'Oh I'd love to come to your house, but I was in Permata Hijau area'. My house is on the other side of the city, around 1.5-2 hours driving. I would have called my friends if I would come late. I thought he was either not into me or simply a jerk who could not respect other people's time."

What are the deal breakers for you?