The Questions

 

Some Real Life Pick Up Lines

While I do not have many experiences in love and relationship, I can not stop being a hopeless romantic. But if you have read this blogs from the beginning, you can figure this out by now:).  

To close the month of February, I have compiled the pick up lines from my guy friends in real life. Here they are without further ado...

"For all of you, I may just die, because you're worth it." - a guy friend who was complimenting a girl's bright red lipstick color.

"You absolutely deserve to be addressed as poetically 'milady'." - a guy friend who shares similar interest on Game of Thrones with a girl.

"Love it when your funny naughtiness appears." - a guy friend who has kinky perverted thoughts (lol).

"I don't really do cinemas anymore, only with you." - a guy friend when a girl asked what was the last movie he watched in the theaters.

"If there is just one thing I would like to see in life before I die, it's you during the early 2000s." - a guy friend trying to see a photo of a girl in her younger days.

What are the sweetest pick up lines you ever heard in real life? :)

Which Is More Important: Compatibility Or Chemistry?

A few years ago, a friend tried a paid dating service and then told me about the process. First, she had to answer a series of question on her preferences. Then, the company will try to find a person with the highest compatibility in its directory and set the meet up. Long story short, she met the guy with more than 80% compatibility. However, the first meeting went bland for both sides.

She asked me to meet her at our usual ramen shop to unload her experience. As a good friend, I obliged. 

"What seems to be the problem?" I asked.

"I don't know. I mean he's not bad, a bit good looking, has a stable job, well-dressed, well-educated and well-spoken too. But the chemistry was not there," she said.

"Did you have those uncomfortable silence in between the conversation?"

"Not really. The conversation went great, no awkward silence. It's just, something was off and the feeling is mutual."

As our ramen arrived, we stopped talking and dove deep into our bowls (we had our priorities straight). We continued talking about other stuffs later on. I did not think much of her experience, then recently I saw this video. Then a bulb just turns on inside my head.

You may meet a person who ticks off all factors in your preference list: height/weight/body type, skin tone, eye color, profession, age, religion, hobby, etc. But if the chemistry or attraction was not there, there will be no relationship.

However, the talk with my friend has sparked curiosity within. What are my preference factors on a guy? As an introverted only child, I think mine would simply say: a guy who can engage me in any topics and good looks would be a real bonus. Actually, the Before trilogy uses this as its success recipe.

"So will you be trying this dating service again?" I asked her before we parted ways.

"Sure, why not? I'm open to all kinds of experience now. And it's not as scary as I have thought," she said, smiling confidently.

Wow, isn't she so brave? I wish I can have at least half of her guts. I haven't had any thought of using dating service myself, because for me it's so hard to open up to a total stranger. But since I am now working from home and do not have any prospect of meeting new love interest, I might need to step up the gutsy game.

Have you tried dating service and get any luck with the match? Any recommendations?

The Art Of Gifting By Guys

While I always think men as weirdly wired creatures, I also find that there are many things I can learn from them, such as the art of gifting. I am not a good gift person, so I usually just ask the persons if they have something they really need at the moment. I could observe the person, make a guess on what they need and shop the product if I want to, but these days I just want to simplify the process, just like most guys do.  

Here are some examples of how guys make decisions on which gifts they give:

#1. The items that have the woman's favorite color
Once I received a book from a guy. It was a real surprise, because it was the same book that D gave me years ago. The new book has been reprinted in hardcover version.
Me: Wow, thank you, this is a famous book. How did you decide to pick this book?
Guy Friend: Oh, the book spine is in pink, your favorite color.
Me: ^_^

#2. The items they want to see the woman in it
Giving clothing to a woman is a bit tricky, but when a guy does that, it's because he thinks the clothing would look good on the woman. This is a conclusion of conversation with most friends.

#3. The items they can also use
When I met a friend recently, she was working on a grey Retina Display MacBook Pro, which looks thinner and lighter than a MacBook Air. As I am planning to buy a spare laptop (currently I am using an MBP that was bought in 2010), I ask her several questions on the specs.
Friend: Oh, my husband bought this for me. I don't really know the specs.
Me: Despite being thin, it looks very tough, probably due to the color.
Friend: Actually, it is available in Rose and Gold. The gold ones were not available in Batam (where my friend lives), and my husband was against the rose one, because it looks too feminine as he plans to borrow the laptop.
Me: ^_^

Similar proof was when I met up with another friend, she was wearing a Samsonite backpack, which looks good but which I also knew it was not her style.
Me: This new backpack is a bit different from your other stuffs
Friend: It's a birthday gift from husband. He chose this simple black one so he can use it too.
Me: ^_^

#4. The items within the price range
A guy friend suddenly hit me up with an urging question: where does one buy affordable women's shoes? He wanted to give a pair of shoes to his girlfriend for Christmas.
Me: Have you checked online shops? They usually have branded shoes within reasonable prices.
Guy Friend: Nah, still too expensive. I'm looking for anything below Rp 300,000
Me: Do you really love your girlfriend?

Another friend was ogling discounted items at The Body Shop, so I asked which one she liked.
Friend: Well, I really like this item, but my husband already bought another item, which was on sale but I didn't like it that much.
Me: You can give him some hints next time on your favorite items.
Friend: Unfortunately, that item is seldom on discount. So my strategy now is to find discounted items that I can like.

#5. The items that are functional because Form Follows Function (#ArchitectureStudentInsideJoke)
Years ago, a guy friend gave a watch as farewell gift.
Me: Wow, thank you. Why a watch, if I may ask? I would receive anything from you happily.
Guy Friend: Well, you don't wear a watch. I think you need a watch. And it can also remind you of the good times we had every time you look at the watch.
Me: (I was just speechless)

Another time, a guy friend gave me a bone-shaped pencil case with Totoro's face sketch and a water thermos, all in pink.
Me: Wow, these are so cute.
Guy Friend: And you can use them on a daily basis!
Me: ^_^

#6. Food
In most cases, food is the best gift. I mean, unless you have allergy or health issues, who can resist a box of chocolate? Or a cake? And the guy can also get a slice of the cake, which brings us back to point #3 (ha!).

The aforementioned cases do not hold true for all guys. There are guys who take the time to figure out the perfect gifts. Don't lose hope! Also, either it's a watch or a water thermos, one should always be grateful to receive the gifts. The guys have spent time to think and shop for the gifts, it was already an achievement.

If you are a guy, and you stumble upon this post by happenstance, what are your methods to find gifts for your loved ones? And if you are a girl, what do you give to the guys in your lives? 

How To Fall In Love?

With friend at Pangalengan, West Java, in 2014.

I don't know the answer to that question, but this article in NYTimes probably can. Have a wonderful weekend ahead, sweeties.

Relationship Goals :)

One of my favorite Thai ads :)

Something Happened On The Way To Office

Yesterday I took a TransJakarta free bus to my office and fell asleep. When the bus stopped at the final stop, I woke up, collected my stuffs and headed to the bus door. That's when a man, who had been sitting in front of me, approached and asked for my phone number. The conversation went like this:

Man On The Bus : "Can I have your phone number?"

Me                       : "Huh? Sorry, no. I can't give it to you."

MOTB                 : "Can I have your name card?"

Me                       : "Sorry, no."

MOTB                 : "Where do you work? Where do you live?"

Me                       : "..."

MOTB                 : "I like you."

Me                       : "Errr...okay. Thank you. Bye."

I'm not the kind of girl who gives the best first impression, and I don't warm up quickly to people I just meet. The guys I secretly have crush on (because I'm too shy to make le premier pas) are usually people I meet regularly, either at school, workspace, or courses, and never a stranger. This is Jakarta, there are a lot of crazy people (me included, ha!) and I don't want to take chances. 

Fortunately, he didn't follow me to my building. Otherwise, I would have to ask the security for help. It is scary to get asked personal information by people I don't know. I like persistence, when it's well-presented. Guys, if you want to approach a girls you like, don't ask for their number, but give them your number.

I don't think such  occurrence is a common thing in Jakarta, I mean it's a first for me. Most Jakartan males don't approach me. So the first thing I did was checking my wardrobe and the whole appearance to see whether I put on something that encouraged him to make such advances. Was it my red lipstick, perhaps too red? Or because I wore red skirt? 

But seriously, what would you do if you were in my position?

Why Are We Atttracted To Certain Kind Of People?

Recently I sat down with a group of girlfriends, sharing tiny bits of our lives since our last meeting, when the inevitable question popped up: "are you seeing someone?" Yes, we are a bunch of sad, single women who are curious about other single women's lives.

The answer is, alas, still a 'no' for most of us. But then, as usual, the interrogation continued. We asked each other whether there were potential candidates in the workplace, in the neighborhood, in the..whatever. I mean, there are so many men out there, so there must be at least one straight, single man, right? (Dear God, I'm looking at You, now)

"Well, there is this guy, his name is Mike. Everyone adores him. But I'm just not attracted into him," said one of the girlfriends.

That sentence above, my friends, has been haunting me ever since. Because that's what I've been experiencing too.

Why are we attracted to certain kind of people? What turns you on in some guys and off against other guys? Why can't you like that guy who were introduced by your parents? Oops, the last sentence is TMI :P.

Aside from the same religion requirement (well, it's the norm in Indonesia, but this will be for another post I guess), what are the factors that make a person fall for another person? For some, it can be sparked by the shoes or the perfume he/she is wearing. For me, it helps if the guy is wearing eyeglasses or sporting a tattoo (ha!) or has great back to lean on (ahem).

Being curious, I browsed the title of this post and read this article. I agree with all of the items listed in the article: face, body, scent, eyes, similarity, fun, status, value, warmth, touch...but the 11th factor (time), it really hits home, at least for me. I can be attracted to a person if I spend a certain period of time with him.

I guess that's what makes people married their colleagues, classmates, travel buddies, gym friends or friends at whatever club they're joining. In order to build a relationship, we need to trust the person and feel comfortable with him/her, and those can be achieved through time.

How about you? What makes you attracted to another human being?

Do I Like Him?

Source

 

In The Name Of Love

As coffee culture sweeping across the country, the city has seen more cafes mushrooming. From the retro-feel Kopi Oey to the laid-back Anomali to the movie-inspired Filosofi Kopi Store, you can pick the one cafe that suits your mood. 

But I'm not going to talk about coffee or cafe trend here.

Now if you are a long time reader of this blogs, you know my name often gets misspelled (my number #1 pet peeves). I'm not the only, though. Heather, a colleague's wife, once ordered a drink at a nearby Starbucks and when the drink was ready, she found "Hater" was scribbled on the cup.

"But I'm not a hater!" she exclaimed.
No, you're not, Heather. And I'm not Tiva, Tika, Tira or whatever weird name the barista scribbled on the cup.

I'm tired of correcting and spelling my name everytime I place an order, so I've been doing a trick: when the cashier asks what name should he writes on the cup, I tell him/her that my name is Cinta (an Indonesian word for 'love', but also a character name in an Indonesian hit movie 'Ada Apa Dengan Cinta?' or 'What's Up with Love?').

The pseudonym makes a great conversation opener with the cashier or the barista. I've been getting giggles/raised eyebrows upon mentioning the name. Here are two funny occurrences involving Cinta.

1. Cinta and Rangga
Situation: I went with friends, and placed orders for two. 
Cashier: Your name is...?
Me: Cinta
Cashier: Then the other beverage must be for Rangga, right? (Note from the Editor: Rangga is the love interest of Cinta in the aforementioned movie)
Me: Well...yeah, sure
(My friend, who is a guy, raised his eyebrows but stayed silent upon seeing the name. However, things got even more embarrassing when the barista walked around the tables and saw him.)
Barista: Oh, so this is Rangga. Nice to meet you. I hope you don't leave Cinta again this time (Note from the Editor: that's what happens in the movie)

2. C-I-N-T-A
Situation: I went to a cafe, where the barista sported mustaches and tattoos along his arms.
Cashier: Your name is...?
Me: Cinta
Cashier: C-I-N-T-A?
Me: Yep
(When the drink was ready, guess how the barista call my name?)
Barista: In the name of C-I-N-T-A
Me: You can just say Cinta. No need to spell it. 
Barista: (blushes)

P.S. You know what people say: Love is never wrong. I've never get any misspelled name on my cup since I use Cinta as my nickname.

Have A Romantic Weekend

Alexander Graham Bell and his wife Mabel hold hands at the water’s edge in Nova Scotia in 1898. From Bell Collection. Found here.

Finding Love On The Road

Since my parents have never approved my travel plans, I always tell them that, hey, who knows, your single daughter may find future husband during the trip. It's a false hope, of course. For me, finding love on the road is not as easy as it sounds. I'm too shy/weird to make a good first impression on people I just meet on the road.

Anyway, a few days ago, I read a blog post on Lonely Planet about the issue. So it's not impossible, after all:). Check out the full story here.

I Miss Speaking In French

Found at Le Love

Keep An Eye On Your Lover In Paris Or The City Might Take Her Away

Taken from here

How To Ask Someone Out, Without Really Asking :)

Found here

PS. Have you watched The Amazing Spiderman? It's very different than the ones with Tobey McGuire, but I think Andrew Garfield does a good job in interpreting Peter Parker's geekiness without spectacles.

Islamic Pick-Up Lines :)

Found here

Not Perfect

Taken from here

Boy Woos Girl

A friend and I during the visit to Beijing, China. He didn't woo me, but the situation looked like it, no?:P

A man suddenly approached Peeyutz and I when we went to the exhibition on diving gears in Jakarta Convention Center. He offered us surfing courses and surfing gears, including inflatable surf board (hmm, it's a bit interesting actually). 

We declined the offer politely, saying that we were more into diving. We exchanged some more conversation, he revealed that he was from Rio de Janeiro, Brazil but he had lived in Bali for years (which explains his good conduct of Bahasa). Then he gave Peeyutz a business card and asked if she was married.

I'm a bit slow on this kind of thing, but I think he made a pass on her. What do you think? Is there a fix rule on how to approach the opposite sex? 

A friend from South Korea said that the guys there usually gave a business card to the girls they like and said,"This is my name card. I would be very happy to get to know you more. Please contact me." I think it's very nice, but I may be bias since I'm an Asian and that polite gesture is very Asian:).

The Latinos (I'm referring to the three guys - Wharrysson, Hugo and Santiago - I met in SK) said that SK guys were boring and that Latinos had a macho way (hahaha). They said that when a guy likes a girl, he would turn his head to observe her and exclaimed words of admiration ("Beautiful!" "Hey, Pretty!" or something like that).

"It's a compliment for the girls," one of them said.

My SK friend said that the Latinos way was similar to the Egyptian way (her parents are in Egypt and she visited them at least once a year). Hmm, interesting.

When I was in Saudi Arabia for umrah (minor haj), a taxi driver stared at me, then he turned his head to M and said in a pleading tone,"Mamaaa." Yikes! I ran to the hotel, while M&D tried to suppress their laughter. Not so funny though because there are stories about girls being kidnapped in Saudi.

I don't really know about the wooing style in Indonesia, as I'm a bit slow when it comes to reading love signals. I guess it's a combination of intensive phone calls and text messages, attention to details and compliments ("Wow, you look fantastic with the dress" or something like that) as well as asking for dates (go to movies, concert or just dinners).

Anyway, back to the scene between my friend and the man. I think the man should take it slowly with my friend. She was a bit afraid of his bold approach and said that she did not bring her business cards. Ouch, sorry, dude.

And now, let's think about this weekend, a perfect time to woo the one you love:). What are you planning to do? 

A bazaar to be held in Jl. Mampang Prapatan XVI no. 28, South Jakarta, will feature various items: handmade, homemade or antique. I'm thinking of going there. And perhaps I'll drop by to the diving gear exhibition again, only this time I'll steer away from the man's stall.


Hope you have a romantic weekend:)

Pick Up Lines From Movies

During the bedroom cleaning process, I stumbled upon Youthspeak, the TJaP's monthly tabloid focusing on students. The March edition is about poems, rhymes and even pick up lines found in movies. Then, I did some googling and found more. Since I love pick up lines, I just want to share them here. Enjoy!


"You know the sort of girl who doesn't sleep with a man on a first date?  Well, I'm not one of those." - Emma Thompson to Jeff Goldblum in The Tall Guy, 1990.

"Let's get married and if that doesn't work out we'll live together and if that doesn't work out we'll date." - Randy Quaid in Lightning, 1996.

"Well, I'll tell you the truth now.  l ain't a real cowboy, but I'm one helluva stud." - Jon Voight in Midnight Cowboy, 1969.

"How about coming up to my place for a spot of heavy breathing?" - Walter Mathau to Carol Burnett in Pete 'n' Tillie, 1972.

"Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?" - Robert Benchley to Ginger Rogers in The Major and the Minor, 1942.

"I used to live like Robinson Crusoe, shipwrecked among eight million people.  Then one day,  I saw a footprint in the sand, and there you were." - Jack Lemmon to Shirley MacClaine in the Apartment, 1960.

"I gotta warn ya, every man I've ever gone out with has been ruined."
"Well, that's what they get for messing with my girl."
(Annette Benning and Warren Beatty, Bugsy, 1991)

"You came back to this bar to see me tonight, didn't you."
"What if it wasn't you I came here to see tonight?"
"Well, ya’ got lucky."
(Paul Newman and Charlotte Rampling, The Verdict, 1982).


“Oh man…do you have change for a dollar? All I’ve got are these stupid Nepalese coins.”
“You've been to Nepal?”
“Not in months. I don't know why I bought the damn place.”
(Matt Dillon and Cameron Diaz, There’s Something About Mary, 1998)

"You know, when you blow out the match, it's an invitation to kiss you."
(John Gilbert to Greta Garbo, Flesh and the Devil, 1926)

 

“Rhett, don't. I shall faint.”
“I want you to faint. This is what you were meant for. None of the fools you've ever known have kissed you like this, have they?”
(Clarke Gable to Vivian Leigh, Gone With The Wind, 1939)
“When I think of why I make pictures, the reason that I can come up with just seems that I've been making my way here. It seems right now that all I've ever done in my life is making my way here to you.”
(Clint Eastwood to Meryl Streep, The Bridges of Madison County, 1995)

“God. You're a real live outlaw!”
“I may be the outlaw, but you're the one stealin' my heart.”
(Gina Davis and Brad Pitt, Thelma and Louise, 1991)

"I love that you get cold when it's seventy one degrees out; I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich; I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts; I love that after I spend a day with you I can still smell your perfume on my clothes, and I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."
(Billy Crystal to Meg Ryan, When Harry Met Sally, 1989)


"I have crossed oceans of time to find you."
Gary Oldman to Winona Ryder, Bram Stoker’s Dracula, 1992)

"Swoon. I'll catch you."
(Ralph Fiennes to Kristin Scott Thomas, The English Patient, 1996)

“Your eyes are amazing do you know that? You should never shut them, not even at night.”
(Oliver Martinez to Dianne Lane, Unfaithful, 2002)
 

Source: here and here      

Lukman And Rika's Wedding

Lukman and Rika's love story was unique, well at least for me (Lukman is my cousin). They joined a seminar around four years ago, but they didn't really meet face to face. After the seminar was over, Lukman went to Batam, Riau island, while Rika was in Jakarta, Java island. The seminar's committee shared the participants' contact numbers to the participants. Lukman added Rika in his YahooMessenger, they chatted online and found something in common. 

When Lukman went to Jakarta (for holiday and visit his parents), they finally met. On that very same day they met, Lukman went to Rika's house and met her parents. Two months later, he proposed. And several months later they got married! Here are the photos I took on their wedding day, which was on Dec. 5, 2010. Congratulation, Lukman and Rika!

They look nervous:)

Ijab kabul (wedding vow): I wed you with this dowry, paid in cash

The man put the wedding ring on his wife's finger

The marriage papers

The wedding venue was Omah Sendok

M&D

The dress code said: "wear white and be relaxed":)

Lukman and Rika have a blogs, but mostly written in Bahasa Indonesia. Click here to visit their blogs, and here for more wedding day photos.