The Questions

 

I Decide To Jump Into The Online Dating Pool And Here Are The Apps (Yes, Plural) I Use

When I was in my 30s, I installed dating app Tinder out of curiosity. However, I immediately uninstalled the app in just a few months, because I did not know how to work around the algorithm, many weird guys out there and also, at that time I was confident that I could still meet a decent man offline. After all, I had a job in an office, had colleagues and commuted for two hours (one way) every day. When I decided to be a freelancer, I still had the same confidence because I could meet people whenever I went out to do some meetings.

Then came the age of 40 and the COVID-19 pandemic that hit the world badly for two years and gone were my confidence. The days in the first year of the pandemic were quite bearable, and there was hope that the pandemic would end soon. But when 2021 rolled, with Delta wave crushing all hopes and confidences, I just knew that we should not take things, such as time, for granted.

So, 2022 kicked off and I decided to just roll with every opportunities and challenges that came in my way. I said yes to travels, I bought my first 1,000-piece jigsaw puzzle, and finally, I installed a dating app again following an occurrence that poked my curiosity on my preferences.

What kind of occurrence was it?

Well, I've been participating in an online class on Islamic study and one day, the Ustadzah (teacher) casually asked if anyone was already going for haj/registering for haj. I said I had registered and was supposed to go in 2023, but due to the pandemic, it was probably re-scheduled to God knows when. The Ustadzah was excited to hear the information and told me that hopefully I could get married before going for haj. Then she suddenly offered a CV of a single man, right then and there, in front of other classmates. I was too surprised to say anything. But what made me even more shocked was her next sentences,"Oh, by the way, he is not handsome. But you are not looking for a good-looking man, are you?"

I felt numb upon hearing the Ustadzah's words. I know very well that I am not pretty or sexy by the Indonesian standard (and most likely by any country's standard), but does it mean that I have no right to marry a man who looks good (at least, looks good in my eyes)? Are those words really necessary?

Anyway, I simply smiled and thanked her for the offer. I looked into that CV the Ustadzah gave me and then I politely told her that I didn't feel any inclination toward the man. It was not because of his looks (by the way, the Ustadzah was right, he was not handsome), but it was more because the CV did not mention his preferences: what kind of woman he's looking for, what kind of marriage he's looking to build with the wife, etc etc. It was a business and formal CV, the one you use to apply for jobs.

After rejecting the CV, I thought long and hard about the whole situation. To tell you the truth, at the age of 42, with my father's unstable health condition and amidst this ongoing pandemic, I have given up all hopes to get married. I just want to complete my duties and responsibilities as a good, obedient Muslim daughter to my parents. I've been thinking to save up all of my earnings and one day, after both parents have passed on, I will do the things I've been wanting to do. Such as doing the round-the-world trip like Phileas Fogg, moving to a small city or simply making my own life decisions without any fear of disagreement from my parents.

At that point, I believed that the incident was a sign for me to take action and do the last efforts to find my spouse. So that if one day, Allah asks me on the Day of Judgement, I could say,"Ya Allah, I have tried to find him and I always mention Your Name in each and every action I take." Bismillahirrahmaanirrahiim, with these words I started the journey of finding that half-deen.

This small incident also made me ponder on the qualities I should seek from a man. I know for sure that I don't fall for the good looks, but rather the good body (LOL, sorry, just have to say it). I think I will write another post on the qualities, as a self-reminder to always keep my standards high. All jokes and seriousness aside, here comes the tough question: how can I meet a single, decent man amidst this ongoing pandemic and my work-from-home situation?

Having been attracted to and becoming object of affection to non-Muslim men, I decided that I would use Muslim-based dating app. There are many of them on the app stores, so I did some browsing to see which one(s) people use the most. 

I started with Salams, which used to be Minder (a twist on Tinder), but then it was renamed to Salams to give a more Islamic feel to the app. I downloaded this app on July 28 night (I remembered this clearly, as it was the last Friday of the month aka payday hahaha). After I filled in my profile and uploaded a few photos, I checked the Home button and found the profiles of the men. If I liked him, I could swipe right, or to the left, if I didn't. The Explore button shows people who Liked Me, as well as whom I Liked and whom I Passed, while the Matches button contains the chatting box with those I like and who like me back, or to simply put it, they match with me. 

With Salams, you don't really have to be a paid member because almost everything is open to access. You can actually send message to a person you like, although there is a limit on the number of free messages that you can send. There is also Unmatched & Blocked features, when you decide that you don't really like that person after a few chats. In Salams, you can set location preference, so you can find potential candidates from other countries. If I'm not mistaken, this app doesn't limit users to a certain number of swipes in a day.

After a month of using Salams, I downloaded Muzz, formerly called Muzzmatch. The features are pretty much the same with Salams, but the layout of the interface put emphasis on the photos. If you are a visual person, this app is a treat to your eyes. There are also options to upload audio (an advantage for people with beautiful voice) and video. On the Explore button, you can see people who Liked You, Visited You, whom you Favorited, Liked, Passed, Blocked. The Your Chats button offers in-house voice call and video call features, so you don't have to use another app to do voice/video calls. Muzz also has location preferences, just like Salams, but it has a certain limit of swipes in a day (if I'm not mistaken, you can only swipe up to 100, cmiiw).

Then I found Muslima, which turns out to be the most limited dating app of all three apps mentioned in this post. This app encourages the members to take up paid membership. If you or that person you like is on free membership, you can't message the person and vice versa, although you have matched him. The good thing is this system shows which men are serious and really put in efforts to find spouse through the app.

I think those three apps are enough for now. I will let you know how things progress as I try to tweak and work around the algorithm. Anyone wondering what kind of experiences I get from these app? See you on the next post then ;)

Ramadhan During The Covid-19 Pandemic

For many people, Ramadhan is the time to connect with the Muslim community in the mosques, to reach out to the poor and needy, and to hold sahur or iftar gatherings with friends. And many have lamented on missing out so many things in this Ramadhan. 

While I do miss doing tarawih prayer in the mosque, for me, Ramadhan is the time to reflect and improve, all of which could be done alone during quarantine. I am sure I would get protests from a lot of people to say this, but I really enjoy this year's Ramadhan. 

Here are some things I am grateful about experiencing Ramadhan during the pandemic:

1. No need to attend iftar gatherings at the shopping malls

Many friends and colleagues always hold iftar gatherings at the shopping malls, and I have been skirting around this issue for more than a decade, but the pandemic solves this in a second. I never liked like doing it because malls are always full during iftar time, we have to queue for quite some time to do Maghrib prayer in the mall's tiny praying room, and in the end, we can't have a proper discussion with said friends, because other patrons also want to have iftar.

2. It is more relaxing to do tarawih prayer at home

Since we are staying at home, we can do tarawih as many rakaat as we want. But I'm still doing the 8 tarawih-3 witir, though, lol. Staying at home means I can take breaks in-between the 2 rakaat. I usually spend the breaks to memorize short surah, so I have more surahs option to recite. I love Al Ikhlas, but sometime I feel guilty for using it excessively.

3. You focus on the basics of Ramadhan 

The basics are sahur, iftar, and tarawih. No need to go find new clothes for Idulfitri, because judging from the current situation, this pandemic will still definitely be around on 1 Syawal. No need to make too many cookies or food, because there would not be any family gathering on Idulfitri anyway.

4. More opportunity to do good 

I have heard many news about people losing jobs, not getting THR (annual bonus) or salary, and the struggle of essential workers working around the clock on the frontline. We can help them anytime, not just in Ramadhan, but of course any kinds of help given in this holy month would not only benefit the recipients, but also the giving persons.

5. The pandemic paints a different perspective in life 

With the pandemic going strong worldwide, I always have the feeling to finish my obligations as soon as possible because I may not have the opportunity later. This may seem like negative thinking to some, but the pandemic really gives an awareness that time waits for no one.

What are you grateful for this Ramadhan?

On Placing Your Hopes And Expectations To God

Last year I saw a YouTube video on an ustadz (male clerics) giving a sermon on the importance of marriage. The ustadz cited a hadith saying The Prophet said married people were already achieving half of the religion. From that hadith, the ustadz deduced that the unmarried people had yet to reach anything worthy for the journey to afterlife.

I remembered feeling helpless after hearing the sermon. As a single Muslim in my late 30s (this year is the last year of my 30s), I believe that Allah would not let anyone feeling left behind and that Islam embraces people from all walks of life. So I looked up Al Quran to find solace.

What I found in Al Quran were verses on marriage, to be kind to spouse (how husband should treat their wife and vice versa), to be kind to those who have less, and other advises on being kind to other humans. Reading the verses on marriage resulted in even more helpless feeling, because they emphasized the aforementioned hadith.

As I turned the 30th juz, I stumbled upon Q.S Al Zalzalah (The Earthquake). The 99th surah in Al Quran consists of 8 verses and the last two verses say: "Whoever does an atom's weight of good will see it. Whoever does an atom's weight of evil will see it."

It reminded me of a hadith as told by Abu Hurairah ra about the poor people who asked The Prophet that the rich could do sholat and fasting, just like the poor do. But the rich can give alms, free slaves and donate their wealth for good deeds, while the poor can not do that. At the end of the hadith, Rasulullah SAW said that Allah gave blessing to whoever He wanted to give.

And then another verse of Al Quran jumped out before my eyes: "And to your Lord only should you direct your longing." (Q.S. Al Insyirah-94: 8).

I still needed some validation on the hadith mentioned on the first paragraph of this post, so I asked another cleric, who I knew well that he would pick his words carefully. He said that marriage was indeed already half of the religion (insert sad sigh here). However, he added, those who were married still had to pursue the other half, which is taqwa. He reminded that people should always place their hopes and expectations to God, and not being complacent with the good deeds they have done or achieved.

Those kind words reminded me of another surah, Q.S. Al Ashr, which is my namesake actually. The last two verses say: '"Indeed, mankind is at loss. Except for those who have believed and done righteous deeds and advised each other to truth and advised each other to patience."

Please note that I am not a scholar on Islamic studies. I am just a Muslim who wants to learn more about my own faith. I know that my understanding on Al Quran is not as much as the people who dedicate their life to learn Islam. Feel free to give comments and suggestion. 

May we be able to reach our full potential in this year's Ramadan. Ramadan Mubarak!

To Anyone Who Feels Lonely...

...you are not alone :).

Ayyamul Bidh Schedule In 2018

M introduced me to Ayyamul Bidh, a sunnah fasting conducted in the middle of Hijriyah months or on the 13-14-15 of each month. At first, it felt weird to fast outside of the normally Monday and Thursday sunnah fasting. But then a colleague followed, saying that she used to do ayyamul bidh when she was younger (she's 50-something now) and another one who is in his early 20s even asked me to wake him up via phonecall for sahur (pre-dawn meal) on those days (I really feel like I'm everyone's auntie now).

Sometimes the days fall between Monday and Thursday, so I usually combine the two types of fasting. There is a je-ne-sais-quoi peaceful state of mind when doing fasting, either Ramadhan or other sunnah fasting. 

Since the world uses Gregorian calendar system and Muslims use our own lunar calendar system, there is an 11-day difference. Here is this year's calendar for ayyamul bidh. Feel free to use it, but again, ayyamul bidh is sunnah. There is no expulsion :)

[Movie] The Alchemist of Happiness

Found here

2004 | Director: Ovidio Salazar | 80 minutes

A friend introduced me to this movie, which is available on this link (I hope it will still be available in the long run). I also hope I can do this movie and this Muslim figure a bit of justice through this review.

The movie tells the life of Imam Al Ghazali through three methods: (1) actors portraying Imam Al Ghazali and people in his life, (2) the narrator who travels to Imam Al Ghazali's notable sites, and (3) the scholars who had conducted extensive studies on Imam Al Ghazali and his works.

Born in 1058 in Tus, Khorasan - present day Iran - Al Ghazali started to learn about sufism after the passing of his father that made him and his little brother to be in the care of a Sufi. He was thirsty of knowledge and would go to other cities to learn about theology from teachers, scholars, lecturers and people of knowledge.

But some of his most important lessons came from unexpected source. Once, his travel group was ambushed by a gang of mobs. He pleaded to one of the mobs to not destroy his textbooks and other writings he had copied from his teachers. The mob looked him in the eye and said,"So all I have to do is take them from you to strip you of your knowledge."

He began memorizing his lessons because he realized that "you only possess what you don't lose when the ship wrecks." He didn't write anything on the theology until he had memorized at least 12,000 pages written by great theologians on Islam.

He joined the court of Nizam al Mulk, a powerful vizier of the Seljuq sultan, and soon came to prominence in Nizamiyyah college in Baghdad. However, he experienced a spiritual crisis in 1095, during which he decided to go on a pilgrimage and live in seclusion.

Al Ghazali lived during the period of upheavals and uncertainties. People looked up to the clerics and took sides. As time went by, many people only had concerns on who-said-what without paying attention or questioning that what the clerics said could possibly be wrong. It's pretty much like today.

Al Ghazali realized that human's nature and one of its basic conditions is the emptiness and ignorance to the unseen world of God. He observed that the external factors shape different forms of revelation and religious experience.

Syaikh Hamza Yusuf from Zaytuna Institute says that God is the Ultimate Concern, and if we replace God from our lives, we should find a substitute. "This is human nature, to fill that hollow space, because humans are hollow beings," he says. 

Syaikh Hamza Yusuf adds that Imam Al Ghazali gets the idea of what will ultimately come and perishing, and what goes on forever. Therefore, Al Ghazali spends his lifetime to learn what one needs for the infinite journey.

But what does one need? What is the human nature, or fitrah as Muslim calls it?

D. Mahmoud Bina, Professor of Mathematics and Philosophy at Isphahan University of Technology, says that fitrah means nature of man as created by God. It is love of God and worship of God, because that is what humans created for. "The highest worship is to know (ma'rifat) God. If serving God means knowing God, then it signifies that God has given men the tools that one can know Him," he says.

Al Ghazali takes the knowledge in the cosmology based on the Islamic concept of Tauhid (oneness) and how the unity of God manifests through the diversity in the world. One of the many veils that keeps people from seeing God is religious fanaticism. For Al Ghazali, "an ignorant Muslim is more dangerous than non-believer because the ignorant only accepts what is right by who said it, rather than what has been said."

TJ Winter, Lecturer of Islamic Studies at Cambridge University, said that Al Ghazali showed that in the heart of every belief, every practice of Islam, there is a spiritual purpose, process of repentance and transformation (hijrah). That is why Al Ghazali is called Proof of Islam.

Wednesday's Wraps - #RabuRok

I have been a tomboy in my pre-hijab days. I have been wearing hijab for more than 12 years, but  sometime I still dress up in androgyny style: boots, straight leg/boyfriend jeans, cargo pants. Some things are hard to let go. 

On any work days, you would see me in shirt-pants combo. To achieve self-improvement, I do try to set some rules and boundaries on dressing up (or down), though. For example, (1) I buy wide-leg pants, (2) pair straight-leg pants with knee-length or at least thigh-length shirts, and (3) wear skirts once a week (I pick Wednesday, because it's the least busy day in a week). Other rules include: (4) only wear cargo pants and other utilitarian pants when I travel/go to the field/do some nature sightseeing, (5) wear my boots with skirts, which is the least I can do to reduce its masculine vibe.

M dislikes the boots and has been trying to change this tomboy girl into a ladylike woman, quoting a hadith that forbids women to dress like men, and vice versa. We have been arguing on this issue. In my defense, I do not wear boots to resemble men, but rather to anticipate the rain.

I have checked Islamic clothing requirements, and so far found several rules as the following:

• Clothing should cover body parts that should be covered. For women, the standard of modesty calls for clothing that cover body, except face and hands, with headscarf should cover chest area. As for men, the minimum coverage area is between navel and knees. However, bare-chested men in public space (unless it's public swimming pool area, I suppose) would be frowned upon.
• Clothing should be loose, not skin tight or body-hugging
• Clothing should be thick enough, of opaque color and fabric, not transparent
• Overall appearance should be dignify and modest, not flashy/shiny/attract public attention
• Clothing should not imitate people of other faiths
• Clothing is just one aspect, but beyond clothing there lies more important purpose: what you wear should reflect what is in your heart.  

Apart from the boots issue, I do try to improve each day. But I also want to do it in small steps, making the efforts ingrained in my daily habit, instead of a forced habit. 

A friend once asked my opinion on whether she should wear hijab after she performed umrah (short time pilgrimage). "Girl, you'd be damned for not wearing hijab, and you would still be damned if you're wearing it. Also, if you ever decided to wear and then you took it off, you'd be even more damned than ever," I told her. I didn't say that to discourage her, but rather to show her how the society, including the Muslim communities, always judge other people. Reading this interview with Australian young ballerina Stephanie Kurlow on wearing hijab and being a ballerina has been quite humbling. 

Here are some of my Wednesday's wraps or #RabuRok in Bahasa.

If you are like me, a woman struggling to wear skirts, I would love to hear your story :).

Either Becoming A Journalist Or A Communications Person, It All Starts From The Heart

A newspaper stand in Macau

In a time where print media switching to online and some even go as far as stopping publication at all, where do print media journalists find their Noah's Ark?

That first paragraph was an attempt at writing a dramatic lede, which I kind of missed (Ha! Former journo through and through).

To answer that question, anyone, journos or not, can always make the career switch. To quote the adage: You can do anything!

Tangent: I stumbled upon Justine Le Conte's You Tube video on her career story, which elaborates why and how she made the choice to change her career. She was not a famous person, so her experience was real and something we can relate to. I like that her channel gives off positive vibes.

But I digress, where was I? Oh yeah, many of my journo friends have made the transition to analysts, entrepreneurs and also, the inevitable role as public relation people. A few weeks ago, I saw one journo friend wrote in her FB status that she did not want ever to be a public relation person.

As a former journalist with around 10 years of work experience, I was once guilty of this sin too: looking down on the profession (and practitioners) of public relation. I used to think that the public relation people sell their souls to the corporations they work at and create a false utopia through the press release. Ok, this is overly dramatic, but I was young and idealistic once.

Fortunately, several years later I had an opportunity to write advertorials. Then it all came to my senses: both journalist and public relation were paid to do their work. There were times, when I was a journo, that I felt uneasy to write the news, because the news angle could not always cover both sides.

Sometimes an editor asked me to write from an angle that I did not like, other times another editor edited my news to suit his/her point of view. I was furious when I read the newspaper and saw that the lede had been severely mutilated (again, drama queen).

I love writing, always have been and will be, but I don't want my writing to benefit just one or two people. I want my writing to give impact to many people. Therefore, I decided to walk away from the profit sector and searched for jobs in the not-for-profit sector that matched my interest. I would prefer to call my current profession as communications person, instead of public relation.

Working for not-for-profit sector has its own drawbacks, though. Most jobs in this sector are usually under one-year contract, with possible extension. I consider myself fortunate, because I'm a woman, still single and my parents give full support on my decision to work in the sector. What about people who are married and have children? What would they do when the contract/the project ends?

Believe it or not, there are men, who are married and have children, in the not-for-profit sector. They work from one project to another, and they survive. These men are my reminder of Allah's abundant blessings. The ultimate factor that makes my heart at ease is the thought that Allah provides for each living being, even if we sometime (or most of the time, astaghfirullah) don't remember Him.

Blessings are not always in the form of monetary gains. Faith in God, health (physically and mentally), fresh air, a smile from a handsome fellow commuter, the rain, the sun that comes after the rain, family (parents/siblings/spouse/children), and good friends, those are all blessings. To sum it up, your life is already a blessing.

Also, I believe everything starts from the intention of the heart. I try to remind myself on a daily basis that I work not just to get money, but to have contentment in the thought that I have helped people. A good intention brings lots of good things into your life. It will also be great if my work gets appreciation through the high remuneration.

I'm not saying that everyone should just quit their permanent jobs and work as contract employees. I just want to say that each profession has its pluses and minuses (so don't look down on other people's profession), never put your faith on humans (and corporations), give the best of yourself on every thing you do while finding opportunity to grow your skills and always be grateful for everything that you have.

Oh geez, have I bored you enough with my ramblings? Wishing you a terrific Thursday, lovelies.

Finding Yourself During A Loss

In the zen zone. A throwback photo of me in Seoul, South Korea, in 2010

A few weeks ago, a friend sent me messages about his bag being stolen while he fell asleep on board the commuter line. Inside the bag were wallet, mobilephone, and most devastating of all, his 15" MacBookPro laptop that he just bought January this year. He blamed himself for falling asleep in the train while leaving his bag unattended on the overhead shelf.

I could only say,"Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi rojiun." To Allah everything belongs, and to Allah everything shall return. I told him to let it go and start anew again.

A few months prior, I have lost many personal photo files in my portable hard disk. I have uploaded some of the photos to this blogs and other social media, but the rest were totally gone. I grieved the loss of life mementos for a few days, then I pushed myself to see things in bigger frame.

Material things such as the mobilephone and the laptop, we can always replace them with the new ones. One may argue that the contact numbers in the mobilephone and the files in the laptop are difficult to regain. But hey, in this global era, we can find a way to connect to the people and we can always recreate the files that were started as tiny abstract ideas in our grey cells. In the case of lost photos, make new ones. Nothing is impossible, as long as we are alive and doing well.

What if you lose a person that means the world to you, such as parents, siblings, spouses? What if you lose your eyesight or a body part?

The second paragraph will still be relevant. After all, we don't really own anything. Our bodies, our parents, our worldly things, and even our souls, we borrow them all from The Almighty. We only have time, such a short time for some people, to prepare our journey for the eternal hereafter. We don't even know how much time we would have.

Just like humans are only visitors on this planet, feelings are also visitors in our hearts, they come and go. Don't stick around too long with a particular emotion. Remember that this too shall pass.

Being grateful helps reduce the sorrow of losing. When losing someone dear, we should be grateful that we have met/have the opportunity to get to know that person. When losing one of the five senses, we can be grateful that at least we are still alive. There is always a lesson we can take from a loss, hence not everything is lost.

Also, if we have accepted that we don't own anything, then the life journey would be a lot easier.

Sorry if today's post is loaded with deep philosophical thoughts. I have a lot of things going inside my head and my heart lately. Writing some of them down in this space helps reducing the noise and hopefully will strengthen me during the time of loss in the future.

What would you tell yourself when you experience a loss? 

On Aging According To Our Age

Aging is  both terrifying and exciting, isn't it? There is an unspoken rule that one should be wiser as they turn older, but it is not always the case. Everyone grows in their own pace. There is no guide book on becoming wise. On the other hand, aging will take place in real time.

As the signs of aging is upon us -- wrinkle, sun spots, grey hairs, and discolored skin tone -- many would focus on the outer appearance, which is also important to take care by the way, but mostly forget to take care the inner self. What would our soul need as it gets older? And while kids look forward to be adult, why do people afraid to be old?

I will be 38 years old in one month and still have two more years before I reach the ripe age of 40, so I intend to gather as much information on that particular age. In Islam, the age of 40 gets a special mention in Al Qur'an, on Al Ahqaf, verse 15 to be precise.

The verse says;"We instructed the human being to treat his parents kindly. His mother bore him laboriously and gave birth to him laboriously. Carrying him and weaning him takes thirty months. Then, when he reaches maturity and reaches the age of forty he says,"My Lord, enable me to give thanks for Your blessings which You have bestowed upon me and upon my parents, and to do the good deeds that please You, and grant me righteous descendants. I have repented to you and I am one of the Muslims." 

From the verse, I can conclude four things that we should do upon reaching 40 years old:
(1) Be grateful for every blessing that Allah have bestowed upon us
(2) Do good deeds that please Allah
(3) Have descendants, if Allah wills it
(4) Repent for all the wrongs we have done in the past years

With my birthday to come in about a month, I have been giving some time contemplating on life. You may as well prepare yourself to read more philosophical posts in this space in the next month.

Do you have any advice on how to become a wise and graceful 40-year-old? Please share :).

I'tikaf In Masjid Baitul Ihsan (Masjid BI) And Masjid Agung Sunda Kelapa

Disclaimer: I wrote this as a self-reminder should I want to do another i'tikaf in the future.

Before I start, allow me to write a definition of i'tikaf. I hope I get it correctly. I'tikaf means staying in a mosque for a period of time, devoting the time for ibadah (praying, reciting Quran, reading Hadits etc) and staying away from the worldly affairs. 

In some countries, women are not allowed to do i'tikaf in the mosque. But in Indonesia, women do i'tikaf. So I guess it is a cultural thing, just like women in Indonesia are not allowed to perform Jumat prayer but actually women can do Jumat prayer in Masjidil Haram. Correct me if I'm wrong :).

OK, back to this post. Last Ramadan, I did i'tikaf in two mosques: Masjid Baitul Ihsan and Masjid Agung Sunda Kelapa. Here are my recount of the experience.

Masjid Baitul Ihsan or Masjid BI

Built in 2001, the 1.087-square meter Masjid Baitul Ihsan is located inside the state bank Bank Indonesia's complex and can house up to 4,000 people. It has a parking area, shoes shelves, toilets and ablution area, and best of all, it is air-conditioned.

Logistics. The second best thing about this mosque (beside it being air-conditioned): it provides drinking water. All you need to do is bring your own water bottle. 

There are some food vendors near the entrance gate. But if you want the real deal, you can always run to the 24-hour McDonalds in Sarinah. To have a proper sahur, you can register for a rice box at the entrance after Witir and pay Rp 20.000.  

Accommodation. It has wall-to-wall carpet. The ground floor has thicker carpet than the second floor. Since I was taking a spot on the second floor, it was a good thing I brought my Deuter Dreamlite500 sleeping bag.

The number of toilet can be improved. But as a person who doesn't pee much during fasting month, I can survive.

I'tikaf Program. The mosque holds Maghrib, Isya, Tarawih (8 rakaat) and Witir (3 rakaat), which usually conclude at 9 p.m. There is a sermon for about one hour. Then you are left to do personal activities (either praying, reading Quran etc) until 1 a.m. when they wake you up to do qiyamul lail. The night prayer is done in 8 rakaat. Each night of the last 10 days of Ramadan the imam will read 3 juz. When I did i'tikaf it was juz 7-9.

Masjid Agung Sunda Kelapa

Built in 1970, the 9.920-square meter Masjid Sunda Kelapa is located behind the National Development Planning Board and can also house up to 4.000 people. MASK has the same facilities like Masjid BI, however, this mosque is much older and not much modernization.

Logistics. There is no drinking water. So you must buy bottled water. Or in my case, I brought a refillable water bottle, asked a food vendor to refill and pay for the water. It's the least I could do to reduce the plastic waste.

There are a lot of food vendors outside of the mosque's gate, and you can choose from satay (meat on skewer) and soto (clear soup) to ketoprak (vegetable, vermicelli noodle topped with peanut sauce) and dimsum (meat dumpling). All is delicious and affordable!

The mosque gives free rice boxes for ifthar and sahur, which they receive from donors. On that particular dawn, the mosque distributed 2.130 rice boxes for sahur and not everyone received. I happened to bring my own meal, so I gave my rice box to an elderly lady.

Accommodation. Women can occupy the multi purpose hall. But I found it too cramped, so I took a spot at the roofed terrace, which is not air-conditioned. Sleeping bag to the rescue!

The number of toilet is enough to cater the whole congregation. But the toilet condition is a bit...hmm...well, there is room for improvement.

I'tikaf Program. The mosque holds Maghrib, Isya, Tarawih (20 rakaat) and then you have a break to do personal activities until midnight, when they wake you up and turn off the light for qiyamul lail. The night prayer is 8 rakaat and the imam reads one juz. 

Conclusion

When doing i'tikaf, I know I should bring these:

1. Mukena (praying outfit), sajadah (praying mat) and other equipment

2. Sleeping bag

3. Tissues (both dry and wet tissues)

4. Refillable water bottle

5. Food (in case no food vendor/free rice box)

June Updates

Eid Mubarak!

My last post was a farewell to the aerial view of Jakarta's main streets, and here I am, a month later, still sitting in the very same cubicle with the view. So what happened in the past 30 days? Here are some updates...

My contract got extended until the end of June

I had prepared myself to be unemployed this month, and planned to take all of my leaves before the contract expired. But lo and behold, a day before Ramadhan commenced, I received a phonecall from the HRM on the contract extension. At first, I said I'd think about it, but the HRM asked me kindly to help them out. And so, I decided to take the offer.

I've completed most of my work a few weeks before May ended, so this June I did the regular tasks and web updating. Lower workload means I had...

A moment of self-reflection this Ramadhan

Prior to the contract extension, I had made plans to fill Ramadhan with lots of self-reflection and ibadah (you know, prayers, read Al Quran and other good deeds). The extension got me thinking that you don't have to wait until you have the time to do all that. As a matter in fact, being alive is a lifetime struggle to balance the world and the hereafter. 

Without any intention to brag/boast/riya, alhamdulillah, this Ramadhan I've managed to do most tarawih prayers, with one night amiss (I'm trying to improve this). I also held a breakfasting event with my campus friend at a small orphanage, near my home. I did twice one-night i'tikaf with my girlfriends. I might post about the experience in another post, just for a self-reminder and in case there are English-speaking people who need information on i'tikaf activities in Jakarta's mosques.

I'm fully aware that what I've done this Ramadhan is minuscule compared to the good deeds that other people had done. But coming from a person like me, those baby steps are huge quantum leaps for me :).

As I don't promote this blogs on other social media (although it's available on search engines if you type the right keywords), I wrote those just for my eyes only, a self-reminder of things to improve in the future Ramadhan. I do understand that there are people who read this blogs. If you know me in real life, I'd very much appreciate it that you don't bring up those things in public or to other people.

The translation work will be published into a paper

The translation work I did last year will be published into a paper, and my name will be mentioned too, that's what the researcher told me. I was floored by the announcement. I mean, I only translated what the respondents said, not really writing the paper. I really need to write my own paper one of these days.

A good news ahead...

A project contacted me. While there is no commitment yet (no contract, whatsoever), the project coordinator had asked me to send some documents. We have also chatted informally on my TOR. I hope to hear more on this project in July. Please wish me luck!

If there is no progress on this project until July, I can always take a break and do some traveling :).

To close this month in a good mood, here is a photo of me and my extended family during the Eid celebration. And they didn't ask 'the question' this year! I love you, my extended family :).

Masjid Raya Daan Mogot And Elements of A Mosque

A few weeks before the Jakarta gubernatorial election, a series of photos on a newly built mosque on Jl. Daan Mogot, West Jakarta circulated in the social media. A group of Muslims (heretofore is the contra group) called the mosque had un-Islamic design. Since the incumbent governor is a non Muslim, rumors grew that he had purposefully designed the mosque to resemble a church.

Being an architecture graduate and a Muslim, the first thing that crossed my mind regarding the argument was: what are the design elements of a mosque? What makes a particular architectural work be called a mosque? 

Before we get to that, how about if we take a look at the controversial mosque? Brace yourself, people, it's going to be quite a long post.

Perspective 1

Perspective aerial view 2

One of the concerns from the contra group was about the floor plan. They said that it resembled a cross, just like the medieval church floor plan. But here, as you can see, it's a simple T-shaped building. And the shape was used due to an even simpler reason: the shape of the land.

Perspective aerial view 3

As you can see, the land is kite-shaped, with several nodes encircling it. The architect must have taken two axis from two strongest nodes, put the building regulation and open space requirement into mind as well as optimizing the facade designs.

Perspective aerial view 4

The mosque was designed by Adhi Moersid of Atelier Six, who had designed several mosques across Jakarta and one in Semarang, Central Java. All Atelier 6 designs have one strong concept: vernacular architecture. Wherever they build an architectural work, they will incorporate the local culture into the designs. And they apply it to this mosque too, because it has many Betawi elements. However, the contra group said that the ornaments were similar to the Star of David. Oh dear.

All 3D CAD pics are taken from Atelier 6 website. There are many photos on this particular mosque in the Internet, you can check them out by typing in the keywords: Masjid Raya Daan Mogot. 

Now about the elements of a mosque, what are the things that make an architectural work become a mosque? Islam is now found worldwide, so we can't really say that a mosque should have dome or specific architectural designs in order to be called a mosque. The way I see it, here are the things that you most likely would find in a mosque, regardless of the geography:

Facing Qiblat

All mosques face qiblat, this goes without question.

Shoe Shelves

All Islamic praying space should be clear from dirt and other things that are considered impure in Islamic teaching, and you will be required to leave your shoes prior to entering the main building area.

Ablution Area

After removing the shoes, you will have to clean with water: your hands, face, nostrils, top of head, ear lobes, and feet.

Prayer Hall

Now that you're clean, you are allowed to enter the prayer hall, an area where Muslims pray five times a day according to the solar schedule: dawn, midday, afternoon, dusk and night. 

Mihrab

Mihrab is a part of the prayer hall, where the imam, leader of praying activity, stands. It is usually ornately decorated according with calligraphy.

Mimbar

If the mosque has enough space, usually there is a mimbar, a raised platform where clerics give sermons/speeches.

Minaret (Tower)

To perform call for prayer.

As you can see, none of the elements has something to do with the shape of the architectural work or the ornaments. It can be rectangular, triangular, or even circular, but the most important thing is this architectural work houses...(drum rolls)...

Praying activity

Of course, it is a mosque. There must be a praying activity held in the building.

Just to give an idea what a mosque floor plan looks like, here are six mosque floor plans from early Ottoman period.

Source: Mosque layout design: An analytical study of mosque layouts in the early Ottoman period. 

As you can see from the pic above, there have been mosques using T-shaped floor plans. So what's the big deal about Masjid Raya Daan Mogot?

I don't really understand what the argument was about. If the contra group dislikes the incumbent, can't they just not vote for him in the election? No need to spread fake news. For me, a mosque is a place to pray. But of course, Allah has created this Earth as a place to pray. So you can pray anywhere (except graveyard and toilet).

Congratulations, you made it to the end of this post. I hope I don't bore you on the minutiae.

PS. I've made several posts on the mosques in the past. You can check them here, here, here, and here.
PPS. Have you checked an Instagram account called @placesyoullpray ? Go and have a look. 

Some Tips For First Time Hijab Wearers

January is the perfect time to make resolution to be a better self.

Recently I met two women in separate occasions. Both have just donned hijab and asked for my opinion in hijab wearing. One is a journo friend, who had just came back from a pilgrimage trip and had a thought of wearing a hijab. However, she  was wondering if she was really ready to wear it as she felt distanced from the values of Islam. Her one big question was,"Am I really ready for the hijab?"

Another is a friend's friend, who also just returned from the Holy Land, decided to wear hijab and was admonished by her friends for wearing ripped jeans (she wore opaque stocking underneath, though). She was surprised to get such treatment from people she had been hanging out with.

I told them that no matter what they did, people would always have something to say. If they didn't wear hijab after the pilgrimage, people would comment,"Hey, why don't you cover yourself after the pilgrimage?" And if they did wear hijab, people would criticize the way they wear hijab. But that's okay, because it would allow them to see who the real friends were and who would take them as they are, either with hijab or not. 

I also reminded them that as a human, we are growing, from fetus to baby to toddler to teenage to adult. We will still be growing inside, either our belief system or our fashion sense, until the day we die. Therefore, they don't need to worry about what they are doing or wearing today, because it is just a step ahead to get them to another phase in life.

Also, the last thing I told them that they need to read more, discuss more and surround themselves with Islam and people who they believe will bring them closer to Islam. A human's heart changes from time to time, we should always pray to God that our hearts stay in the right path.

Enough with the preachy stuff. I remembered wearing hijab the first time and trying to decide what to wear while maintaining to be color coordinated at once. So here are some tips:

1. Always remember the main reason you're wearing hijab. It's not for you, it's not for other people, but it's for your Creator. This should block all negativity out of your mind :).

2. For first hijab buys, stick to basic colors: black, white, gray. This will be a good investment for a lifetime.

3. Asses your current wardrobe and find ways to hijab-modify them

4. Figure out what suits you best 

Another tips is to follow hijabistas on Instagram and pick up some fashion clues from their feeds, such as this young Iranian fashion designer/illustrator Shagayegh Seyedi (@shagayegh_syd). Her style reminded me of my first hijab experience :).

Group hug to all first-time hijab wearers out there!

A Whip For My Lazy Self

Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce you to Jackie Ying, one of MIT's youngest full professor and the executive director at Institute of Bioengineering and Nanotaechnology. She was born in 1996, which means she has just turned 20!

She has 150 primary patents. She is the Editor-in-chief of Nano Today which is an international peer-reviewed academic journal for nanoscience and technology. In other leading journals, she has 340 publications.

Now, what have I done during my 36 years on Earth? I feel like a dust in the wind compared to her.

Read the news here.

A Day As A Hijabi

Feb. 1 is said to be World Hijab Day.

Not exactly sure what to say. In some countries, women are not allowed to cover their head, while in other countries, women are forced to wear headscarf. I believe women should be allowed to decide for herself whether she wants to wear headscarf or not. 

Anyway, there are a lot of funny things happening and funny questions get asked when you are wearing a hijab. Below is a video of Hijabi Monologue on the 10 People You Meet.

When People Bug Me For My Single Status, I Reiterate This Quote

It's either I have to make myself a good woman to have a good man or there aren't any good men around me yet.

I've mentioned it, and I'll still be posting it anyway: weddings and family gatherings are the hardest events a single 30-something woman should attend. If you're not attending, people will wonder if you have a personal hatred with the bride/groom, but if you do come, relatives will sidle up next to you while you're chowing down that macaroni schotel just to find out if you have a boyfriend/girlfriend or the lack there of. And the why, oh the why.

Never mind that you have that killer job other people are vying, or that you are financially independent, or that you dress modestly. When you are single, it means you don't respect your parents and are not a complete person.

Zzz.

Just because one is still single, it doesn't mean that the person wants to be single for the rest of their lives. Perhaps they just haven't found their significant other who clicks in that certain frequency. If one should live with another person for the rest of their lives, they should know what kind of person they marry. 

I have had my share being called as "picky" and "snob". Rather than "picky", I prefer the word:"selective". Why can't I be selective? Even my mother chooses the vegetables carefully before she buys them. And here we are talking a lifetime commitment, instead of a package of green leaves.

I'm not going to lower my standards just because I'm now 30-something. My future husband must have a job (read:be responsible for his future wife and kids), should be a looker (or at least take a good care of his body, smokers please use the exit door) and knows how to make me laugh.

Sorry for venting, I just need to get this out of my chest. Especially with another cousin wedding in the upcoming weeks. So help me God.

Oh, and one more lovely quote for all the single women out there:

PS. I forgot the photos sources. If you know, just send me the links and I'll fix it.

Make The Days Count

From here

Tips For The Last 10 Days Of Ramadhan

1. Do not let your ‘performance’ until now affect your last 10 days. The moment of forgiveness could be today or anytime in the coming days! It is not all lost! If you sincerely wish it could have been better - Chin up and get ready to make it your best yet! Start with a positive, sincere intention!

2. Today, take a little time to read the Tafseer of Surah al-Qadr to understand what actually happens this night! You will feel its power & greatness so much more!

3. Do not wait for the 27th Night to give it your “all". The entire last 10 days should be your target. Stay up each night! Would you want to miss Laylatul Qadr even “by chance"?

4. Do not fall into any innovations/celebrations any masjid or culture might try to promote. Follow the Sunnah! The Prophet SAW guided us simply: “Whoever stays up and prays on Laylat al-Qadr out of faith and in the hope of reward, his previous sins will be forgiven.”

5. Memorize and keep asking the dua’ taught by Rasulullah SAW: Allaahumma innaka ‘afuwwun tuhibb al-‘afwa fa’affu ‘anni (O Allaah, You are forgiving and You love forgiveness, so forgive me).

6. Prepare a short dua’ list. Remember this is as awesome as it ever gets for a servant of Allah! The Night of Qadr, of Destiny! Consciously pick each and everything you crucially wish for in this dunya, in your deen, family, and in your aakhirah! Don’t forget to include the brothers and sisters around the world who are suffering and in grief!

7. Take brief naps during the day, if possible. Keep your stomach light and sleep as soon as you have prayed ‘isha. Do not delay! After a brief nap, refresh yourself and get ready for worship.

8. Don’t neglect your family! Rasulullah SAW made it a point to wake up his wives throughout these nights! And yes, your children are not too young to stay up some part of the night - if they can be allowed to play video games or watch TV, they can be inspired to be up atleast for sometime! Prepare them, make them excited, plan some activities for them to do!

9. Look the Part: The way we dress and prepare has a big effect on our psychology. Wear your best, perfume yourself, and feel the energy!

10. Choose a spot, whether in the Masjid or in your home, where you can have peace and solitude. Keep your mushaf, praying mat, and water at hand so that you are not distracted by constantly getting up for this or that.

11. This is not the night to tweet pics or update FB statuses about how amazing the night is and how you are feeling & worshipping Allah! Let that be a secret between you & your Rabb! So switch off those phones, wifi, laptops and computers. Disconnect with the world, and connect with al-‘Afuww!

12. If you find yourself feeling sleepy, vary your acts of worship. Alternate between qiyaam, heartfelt dua’a, reading the Qur’an. Do not spend the night listening to lectures or recitations. Or do it only for a short while when you feel the sleep coming on!

13. Patience is the Key: The last 10 days might be tiring. You might still have work or school. This is the time to bear all that hardship, and keep firm sabr. Think how Allah has blessed you with this tremendous opportunity that might NEVER come again in your life again. If you knew for sure that this was your last Ramadan, if you knew certainly that Jannah was up for grabs, wouldn’t you sprint for it no matter what it takes?

14. This is most important: Keep husn adh-dhann bi Allah (good expectations from Allah). When you ask, remember you are asking the Most Generous King. If you hope for the best, He will give you the best. Don’t hold back. Trust in Him, pour out your heart in front of Him, and let no doubt, no barrier, no evil thoughts keep you away from ar-Rahman, ar-Raheem.

Source