Friday, September 2, 2016

Conversation With DAP

Sometimes I forgot how childish adult men can be. Here's several conversation samples with one of the specimens.

On Weight Gain And The Intention Of Diet
DAP: Oh my God, I've gained weight ever since I came to this office
Me: I don't mind 
DAP: I do mind, all my jeans are getting tight on the waist area
Me: Go on a diet then
DAP: Yeah
(a few hours later, I saw him eating snacks)
Me: How's the diet plan going?
DAP: Tomorrow (grinning)

Situation: there's a distribution of T-shirts and everyone gave their size.
DAP: I'm XL size
Me: Sorry, Pak Jeffry took the last XL size, you may want to take the XXL size
DAP: It would be too big for me!
Me: You've gained weight since working in this office. Why don't you try it first?
DAP: (grumbling while putting on the T-shirt) It's too big.. see...
(the T-shirt fits him just fine)
DAP: Err...
Me: Too big, yeah right...(leaving him speechless)

That's Not Dinner Yet
Situation: During the meeting in Surabaya. It's 7 p.m. and everyone is going out for dinner.
DAP: I'm famished, let's have dinner
Me: But we just had dinner! Your supervisor took us to that eatery at 5 p.m.
DAP: That's not dinner yet, it's a pre-dinner meal
Me: Ok, you just go on your own then, I'm still full

Feeling So Young
Situation: we're discussing our age. He was 2 years younger
DAP: This year I'll be 34 years old
Me: We're only two years apart. You're already 34 years old now, you'll be 35 years old this year
DAP: No, I'm 33 years old.
Me: You're born in 1981, right? This year is 2016. You're being delusional
DAP: Oh yeah, right

Auntie Knows Best
Situation: DAP is quite popular among the girls. I suspect this is because he's quite tall compared to other guys in the vicinity. So one of the girls (let's call her Rose) has shown genuine interest towards him, but the feeling is not mutual...
Me: Rose sent us email to ask our help for a backdrop of an event
DAP: But the information is not clear
Me: Ask her via email then, but don't forget to cc me
DAP: Can you do that? And cc me
Me: You're a big man, and yet you're afraid of her? This is ridiculous
DAP: I'm not afraid. It's just...I'm sure you handle the situation better than me
Me: *rolling my eyes*

Cute Girls On The Horizon!
Sometimes I caught him glancing at cute girls passing by, and then he blushed when he knew that I knew.
DAP: What?
Me: (smiling)
Female Colleague #1: It's good that he's glancing at girls. If he's checking out men, then we have a stiff competition here
Me: Good point
DAP: Hey!

Other times, I pointed out the cute girls for him
Me: Hey, the girl over there is pretty
DAP: I know (smiling sheepishly)
Me: Hmmhh

When Cute Guys Are Around
Sometimes the situation is reversed, in which there is a cute guy around and the girls will gawk at said guy
Female Colleague #1: Check out 11 hours, cute guy alert (whispers)
Female Colleague #2: Ohhhh
Me: Yesss
(Our eyes were following said guy, and then DAP walked in front of us and obscured our view)
The Girls: Hey!

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