Friday, November 13, 2015

Why Are We Atttracted To Certain Kind Of People?

Recently I sat down with a group of girlfriends, sharing tiny bits of our lives since our last meeting, when the inevitable question popped up: "are you seeing someone?" Yes, we are a bunch of sad, single women who are curious about other single women's lives.

The answer is, alas, still a 'no' for most of us. But then, as usual, the interrogation continued. We asked each other whether there were potential candidates in the workplace, in the neighborhood, in the..whatever. I mean, there are so many men out there, so there must be at least one straight, single man, right? (Dear God, I'm looking at You, now)

"Well, there is this guy, his name is Mike. Everyone adores him. But I'm just not attracted into him," said one of the girlfriends.

That sentence above, my friends, has been haunting me ever since. Because that's what I've been experiencing too.

Why are we attracted to certain kind of people? What turns you on in some guys and off against other guys? Why can't you like that guy who were introduced by your parents? Oops, the last sentence is TMI :P.

Aside from the same religion requirement (well, it's the norm in Indonesia, but this will be for another post I guess), what are the factors that make a person fall for another person? For some, it can be sparked by the shoes or the perfume he/she is wearing. For me, it helps if the guy is wearing eyeglasses or sporting a tattoo (ha!) or has great back to lean on (ahem).

Being curious, I browsed the title of this post and read this article. I agree with all of the items listed in the article: face, body, scent, eyes, similarity, fun, status, value, warmth, touch...but the 11th factor (time), it really hits home, at least for me. I can be attracted to a person if I spend a certain period of time with him.

I guess that's what makes people married their colleagues, classmates, travel buddies, gym friends or friends at whatever club they're joining. In order to build a relationship, we need to trust the person and feel comfortable with him/her, and those can be achieved through time.

How about you? What makes you attracted to another human being?


  1. well recently I attracted to a guy from of his voice, his talking sound like singing on my ears hehe
    salam kenal ya mb Tifa ^-^

    1. tell him how you feel, then :)
      salam kenal juga, ika.
      terima kasih sudah mampir.